December 11, 2008

To Beard or not To Beard

To Beard or not To Beard should have been the question. Whether tis more noble to adorn the male face with hair or to remain shorn. And thus we head into another recurrence of silly season on the blog. Not that it is really such a bad thing, the silly posts seem to be the ones that get the most traffic and that is ok with me.

The Shmata Queen is always hocking me about keeping my beard. She has this thing for facial hair on men. Actually she has a lot of things. You should see her closet, talk about full of junk. Not to mention her many misconceptions such as her idea that a lake can have a beach, but I digress.

In the almost forty years that I have known my father I can only remember two times that he had a beard. When I was about fourteen or so he grew one and kept it for about a year. That disappeared until my grandfather (OBM) died and then it reappeared for about a year. Only this time it was far more gray than before.

My own beard is black with some flecks of red and blond in it. Every time I grow it I get cracks from people about going gray.  I take some small pleasure in pointing out that not only is it not gray, I don't have any on my head either. For those who haven't seen my picture I have a relatively full head of hair. Sadly the front is not quite as full as it used to be, but it is close.

The dark haired beauty recently asked me why I don't have a beard in most of my pictures. I told her that it is because I don't keep it for very long. Her big brother asked the obvious question of why I never let it last. The answer is that I usually get bored with it. That is also the reason that I grow it. I can't do anything with the hair on my head so I might as well do something about my face. 

As a point of interest I wore a flat top for years. I miss it. I used to wake up, run my fingers through my hair and I was good to go.

Anyway, the big guy wasn't satisfied with being told that I get bored with having a beard or not having a beard. He looked at me and said "That is not a reason." It is always nice to have your children use your own line on you. He then hit me with a question that I hadn't expected from him. 

"Dad, did you know that your beard is the same color as the hair between your legs," and thus I provide you with proof that I am not gray anywhere. About this time more than half of you are asking why you needed to know the answer to that question. Truth is that you didn't but that is part of the fun of the blog, you just never know what sort of cool trivia you are going to learn.

If I had my way the beard would grow overnight. That way I could do all sorts of nifty things with it. One day I'd have a beard that would make the boys in ZZ Top jealous and then another I might wear a goatee. Or maybe I'd have mutton chops and a handlebar mustache. Who knows.

Speaking of the moustache that is one facial adornment that I tend to avoid. For some reason it makes me look ridiculous. One day I'll have to upload the shots of me playing motorcycle cop.

Ok, I'd write more but it is well past midnight and I think that I probably should see about getting some beauty rest. Night all, see you sometime in the future.

3 comments:

Soccer Dad said...

Beard.

About 30 years with about 4 months off back in 1992-3.

Jack said...

What caused the four month break?

One Wink at a Time said...

Must have been a really great woman ;-)