June 23, 2008

Feedback From The Shmata Queen

Some of the 17 long time readers of this blog are aware that the president of my fan club is the semi-retired, no longer twenty-something blogger known as the Shmata Queen. Having fled the land of the burning river for sunnier parts and a brighter future she has taken it upon herself to serve not just as president but chief critic of the blog.

About once a week I receive extensive feedback about the content of this blog. She has no compunction in telling Old Jack that she finds the videos to be boring, doesn't like large chunks of my music and wishes that I watched better movies.

Most recently she has taken it upon herself to tell me that she is bored with posts about basketball. It doesn't matter whether it is about the NBA, NCAA or my pick-up games, she says that she is done with it. I told her that she is a cranky old broad and that she ought to loosen the top button of those jeans, because surely that is what affecting her judgment.

And as you might expect I was forced to duck repeatedly. The woman is a master of flinging that heavy, oversized handbag with great force at me. Most of the time she strives to hit my head, but thanks to my pick-up basketball game I am still nimble enough to avoid her strikes.

In fact there was one time where she swung so hard she spun herself in a complete circle and it was only because of my chivalric catch that she didn't land on her backside. Of course I should add that I wish that I had that whole on thing on camera because America's Funniest Home Videos would surely have given me ten grand for it.

You know part of the beauty of the queen is that she is a colorful old gal who never ceases to provide me with an unending stream of blog fodder. There are a number of stories that I always keep a rough draft of because you just never know when they might be applicable.

And now if you'll excuse me I think that I better go purchase some body armor because when she sees this little ditty she'll most likely do her Mama Bear impression. And don't let her fool you, her teeth are sharp and she does have a nasty bite. ;)


Anonymous said...

She sounds like a real winner.

Stacey said...

And you sound like a real asshole.

Jack said...


Careful now, she is pretty good with that purse. One good swing and you'll wake up sometime the middle of next week.


Oh, I see that you're busy. Stop sucking on that hill, you'll be schlattered. ;)