December 12, 2005

I am Rich, Rich, Rich

I am jumping up and down right now. I received the following email last week.
DNL-GH
Department of National Lottery
28-30 February Road Accra Ghana
P. O Box 1139 Accra Ghana

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners
International programs held on the 02/05/2005. Your
e-mail address attached to ticket number :310878GH655BE which
consequently won in the 1st category, you have
therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$2,000,000.00 (Two
Million United States dollars).

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that
you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has
been processed and your money Remitted to you.

This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and
unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn
from over 60,000 company and 40,000,000 individual email addresses
and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes
place quarterly every year. This lottery was promoted and sponsored by
a
group of successful electronic dealers.we hope with part of your
winning,you
will take part in our next year US$20 million international lottery.

To file for your claim, please contact our Claims Agent with the below
contact information: Contact Person: Mr Williams Hans
(Lottery Director) Email: williamshans@k.ro


Please confirm to our Claims Agent with your personal information:

1. Your Full Name
2. Contact Address
3. Telephone Number
4. Fax Number
5. Country of Resident
6. Your Winning Ticket Number
7. Occupation
8. Age

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 21 days from the
first date of this Notification. After this date all unclaimed funds
will be included in the next stake.

Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications
please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in
all correspondence.


Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent
as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for
being part of our promotional program.

Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Smith Khan
Zonal Cordinator
DNL World Wide
Dear Smith Khan,

I was very pleased to receive your note. In my country it is a time of great joy and happiness. We say to you, Happy Holidays and thank you for your assistance and hard work in getting my winnings to me. I was beginning to think that I was going to have to make my own video begging Santa to give me toys, but now I don't have to.

I am ready and willing to help facilitate transferring these funds to me, but prior to accepting them I need your help. I need you to provide me with your business address, tax ID number and at least two references for without these things I will not be able to deposit the funds into my bank.

Please reply as soon as possible and I will make all necessary arrangements.

Regards,

Jack Beh-Nim-Blay
Office Of Lotto Winnings
The Shack at Jacks
USA
Dear Mr. Beh-Nim-Blay,

I tried to use the information you sent over and unfortunately was unable to establish a proper business connection with your bank. Could you please review the information you sent me and to verify that it is correct and then repost it to me.

Yours most truly,

Dr. Smith Khan
Zonal Cordinator
DNL World Wide
Dear Mr. Smith Khan,

I received word from the bank that an overseas transaction was not able to be processed. The person that I spoke with is also named Jack. Mr. Jack Indabox to be precise. Mr. Indabox is the president of the bank and a world renown restaranteur. You might have heard of Mr. Indabox, but just in case you have not I have supplied his website for your review.

Mr. Indabox has informed me that the best way to conduct our business is for you to use a wire transfer. I have enclosed the information on how to do so here.

Regards,

Jack Beh-Nim-Blay
Office Of Lotto Winnings
The Shack at Jacks
USA
Dear Mr. Beh-Nim-Blay,

This information is most helpful and I am of the highest appreciation for having received it. Prior to our disbursing said funds I need for you to pay the tax on this so that I am allowed to release it.

As it is a rather large amount you are given the option of making payments in smaller portions. Once you do so I will be able to begin the payment process. Thank you for your help in this momentary inconvenience.

Yours most truly,

Dr. Smith Khan
Zonal Cordinator
DNL World Wide
Dear Mr. Smith Khan,

I intend to establish a payment system so that I may acquire my funds. In order to begin this process I need for you to prime the pump. Please send US$2,500 to the bank so that it may establish your account and I can begin paying you.

Yours,

Jack Beh-Nim-Blay
Office Of Lotto Winnings
The Shack at Jacks
USA

Dear Mr. Beh-Nim-Blay,

I intend to wire these funds in the US morning so that you can make payments. Please confirm when you receive the funds and when you begin making payments. It is a pleasure working with you.

Yours most truly,

Dr. Smith Khan
Zonal Cordinator
DNL World Wide
Dear Mr. Smith Khan,

The pleasure is all mine, all mine.

6 comments:

Pragmatician said...

I get these all the time, naturally I don't bother to reply like mister kahn.

Harry said...

Hysterical. I saw a site a few months ago where a blogger kept the correspondance going for a few months and even had the guy waiting at the airport for him. The kicker was he signed all his emails David Lee Roth.

~ Stacy ~ said...

"Auugghh!"

Next time, puh-lease put a warning at the top of your post ...

--Post contains just enough humor to cause you to snort hysterically ... Thusly, you mustn't be consuming any food or drink, as it will certainly burst forth from your nose.--

Not good, my dear man, not good.

Damn funny though!

(grin)

Thanks Jack,

~ Stacy ~

Tamara said...

OMG, that's just hilarious. I might have to plagiarize your notes and try this when I get one of those too. Perhaps I need to start replying to the "maleexhancers, male enhancers, enlargeryourxgeodl, makt it bigger" (typos intentional). I think I need to tell them that: A) I have no male organisms and B) Unless they can enlarge female toys, their sites are of no use to me. :)

(haha, sorry if that was inappropriate)

Shelli said...

WOW - I dind't realize that these people actually write back.

DO let me know when you get an actual wire transfer.

Mr Jack indabox...

snicker :)

Jack's Shack said...

Sometimes you have to turn the tables on these folks.

If it made you smile or smirk than this post did the job it was designed to do.