November 08, 2005

Random Notes

Things That Irritate Me But Probably Shouldn't

Chalk this up to allowing the small things to piss me off.

People who back into their parking space so that they can face forwards when they leave. What the hell, are they unable to turn their heads, because if so they shouldn't be driving to begin with. You people suck.

Adults who think that they are cool by trying to dress as if they are still teenagers.

Slugs who profit by stealing the ideas of others and claiming them as their own.

And on to the next topic.

I have been won over by Bill Simmons, aka The Sports Guy. Heis a columnist for ESPN and a big time fan of Boston sports which means that he is a lover of the Celtics and as a good Laker fan that automatically places us on the opposite side of the table.

But I have to give the man credit, he is funny. I particularly enjoyed this column. I loved this section:
"2. Kobe's new nickname

An actual excerpt from Ric Bucher's ESPN The Mag cover story about Kobe and Phil (and no, I'm not making this up):

"Granted, there's still a dark side that Bryant embraces. He's known in his inner circle as Mamba, which, he is happy to explain, is a kind of snake that can grow to 13 feet and is one of the world's quickest, and one of the most venomous, serpents. He referred to this summer as the 'blackout,' in which the snake grew a new skin through a seven-days-a-week conditioning program."

Wait, there's more!

Here's Kobe explaining his new nickname: "The mamba can strike with 99 percent accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession. That's the kind of basketball precision I want to have. Not being able to train the last two summers, I was in a gunfight with a rusty butter knife. I did my share of killing, but I was just fighting to survive."

All right ...

First of all, I love when any celebrity gives himself a new nickname to change his identity. It's funny when wrestlers change gimmicks and end up with a new nickname, it's funny when Diddy changes nicknames, and it's downright hysterical when an NBA star once accused of sexual assault decides it would be a fantastic idea to embrace the identity of a 13-foot serpent. Second, when they explain the choice of the nickname with a beauty like, "The mamba can strike with 99% accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession," and refuse to credit "Kill Bill," it reminds me why I still love writing this column. And third, I don't think this nickname is catching on, since I have been delightedly telling everyone I know about the Mamba story, and nobody has heard of it, so I'm calling Kobe "Mamba" in this space from this point forward. Long live Mamba."

I may have to make that my new slogan. Long Live Mamba. I don't care if anyone gets it, that just rolls off of the tongue so nicely.

10 comments:

Mirty said...

People who back into their parking space so that they can face forwards when they leave....You people suck.

That's a tad harsh. I was told that it was bad for the transmission to put the car in reverse right after starting, so you should always try to face forward. Is that just an old-mechanics-wives tale?

Bill said...

Jack here's an interesting item for you.

On Canadian Military bases, there is an existing regulation that states that when parking a vehicle the vehicle MUST be backed into the parking spot.(however this only applies to military personnel)

If you have a military base pass and are caught parked facing inwards you get ticketed.

For two reasons, one it is deemed safer because when exiting the spot the driver has a clearer view of oncoming traffic and two in an emergency the lot can be cleared faster.

Jack's Shack said...

Many of my posts come from daily observations. The comment about people who back their cars in was premised by being forced to wait in a line of cars because the people who were backing their cars into tiny spaces could not do so quickly.

For that matter they had to open their door and look behind them as they went.

And yes, the three minutes that I wasted waiting for them is important to me.

As for the other two components of your comments here is my response.

Mirty,

At one time that may have been the case but it doesn't make sense to engineer a car in which you cannot choose to go forward or reverse immediately upon starting.

Bill,

That makes sense to me. With the vast Canadian military they need to get those 7 cars out quickly. ;)

Ezzie said...

I like driving through a spot to face forward in the one facing it. Doesn't waste time, and I still get that clear vision.

Makes sense for military bases, though - they may need to move quickly.

Mirty said...

I think you need to read my anger mismanagement post Jack. :) {ducks to avoid flying objects}

Stephen (aka Q) said...

Jack:
I agree with two of your three peeves. But it is safer to back into a parking spot. The problem with backing out is, you have a car obstructing your vision on either side. And parking lots are full of pedestrians, some of them small children. It's best to drive out forwards so you can aim for them more accurately.

Just kidding! So you can avoid running anyone over, of course.

But I can back into a parking spot without keeping you waiting three minutes, so you probably wouldn't have a problem with me. Unless you're really, really, impatient. And even then, you stand to gain time when I exit my parking spot more quickly than I could in reverse.
Q

judi said...

Add teenagers that dress like teenagers to my list of pet peeves. I'm sorry, but if you're fifteen, I don't want to see your butt/cleavage/navel. And that goes double for adults that dress like that.

Jack's Shack said...

Hi Ezzie, Q, Mirty and Judi,

I want to let you know that I appreciate all of your comments. I am a bit jammed for time and cannot give them the proper attention that they deserve.

Attila said...

I agree with you about backing into parking spaces. It's not the amount of time it takes; it's the fact that a large number of backer-inners do a crappy job parking and make it hard for someone else to park next to them, coupled with the fact that their motivation (I assume) is often to make exit quicker for them.

When you park head in, you just have to take it really slow going out to avoid running over people or being hit by other cars. It's a fact of life. If you have a driver's license, you should be able to handle it. If not, you probably shouldn't be making left turns, either. Go around the block making three right turns.

Jack's Shack said...

Hi Attila,

You said it dude.