January 07, 2005

Men, Our Emotions and Dating

This feels like it could become the start of a great new column on Cosmopolitan or some other magazine for women.

"Your man- What he thinks, why and how he really does love you"

or

"Men Do Feel- They Just Show it Through Sex"

Actually the second headline sounds more like a title for a rebuttal to the first one. I can say that in my experience I rarely have had deep conversations with men about what women are feeling or thinking, at least in reference to dating.

Usually if I am involved in a conversation like this it is with a female friend who is using me as a sounding board for the male point-of-view.

In large part I think that this is because men and women approach things differently. I am not arrogant enough to speak for all men, so I'll just give out my opinion. The women I loved most deeply were always those who seemed to really understand me, the ones that I could let my guard down with because the game playing was over and there was nothing but honesty.

But the honesty between us was frightening because the potential for serious heartbreak was much greater and far more real.

During my dating days I sometimes took a more tactile approach. I wanted to touch and feel the wares if you will before giving pieces of me away. Often this was in conflict with the woman who would try the opposite approach. As you can see I was never big on being shomer neigah, but that is something that I view differently today.

As I alluded to in earlier posts I rapidly learned that a man who can communicate with women is considered to be a commodity and it paid off in a big way. I'd liked to say that I never took advantage of this, but I would be lying. Having been a teenage boy is part of why I am concerned about my daughter, I know how we think, but again that is a different story.

I am not really sure where this is going anymore, I feel like an old man who is just rambling away, babbling on about past triumphs and tragedies. Maybe I'll try and pick this up again later.

2 comments:

Brian said...

Hey Jack..another great post! I've been thinking about writing on this subject for a few days and you beat me to it!

Jack's Shack said...

Hey Brian,

Go for it, by no means have I got a lock on this market.