- A Mother In The Men's Room
- "Free To Be... You And Me"
- Gratitude
- This Is Why I Want To Direct Movies
- How I Deal With Pain
- The Qualm Before The Storm
Making a Man- Raising A Boy or Is He Raising Me
The Sloppy Kisser
A Collection of Recent Posts And Then Some
Making a Man- Raising A Boy or Is He Raising Me
The Sloppy Kisser
A Mother In The Men's Room
There was a mother in the Men's Room at Target. I know this because I was there. I know this because I was responding to nature's call and was fully engrossed in the task at hand. I know this because she opened the door and asked if anyone was in there.
I didn't answer. It wasn't because I was embarrassed, ashamed or too shy. I was busy and not interested in responding to a stranger. I am a dad so I know the drill regarding public restrooms. I have been out with my kids and had to figure out whether my daughter would use the Men's Room or be allowed to go in the Ladie's Room.
It can be nerve wracking. We never want to put in our children in harms way so we try to make sure to do whatever we can to minimize the potential danger. Public restrooms can seem like pretty scary places.
Even so, I am not obligated to respond to your query. Nor am I interested in you walking in to try and manage the situation. In fact your presence there irritated me. Had I wanted an audience for this performance I would have found a comfortable tree to squat against in the park or alternatively fertilized the sidewalk with "Essence of Jack."
Truth is that I am rather proud of "Essence of Jack" and have had preliminary discussions for turning it into an air freshener and or manly cologne. Apparently you disagreed as not only did you wander in, you coughed/gagged and then yelled something along the lines of "hurry up, there is a man in there who didn't respond when I called."
I was a bit confused by this and had to fight the urge to call out to you something sarcastic about your "fecal mental power" but I didn't think that you were smart enough to understand the play on words. Not to mention that I was transfixed with your shouting at your son to "hold his penis." He is a boy, do you really have to ask.
You should also know that I had to work hard not to ask you to get some toilet paper for me. It wasn't because I was running out, but because I was irritated with your being there. Had I been single I might have moved faster and attempted to make some sort of love connection. It would have made a great story.
We could have had so much fun explaining to our friends that on our first date I proved that I am not full of crap. Alas it was not meant to be. Still, all is not lost as I now can tell a story about bad timing, lost love and what could have been.
I didn't answer. It wasn't because I was embarrassed, ashamed or too shy. I was busy and not interested in responding to a stranger. I am a dad so I know the drill regarding public restrooms. I have been out with my kids and had to figure out whether my daughter would use the Men's Room or be allowed to go in the Ladie's Room.
It can be nerve wracking. We never want to put in our children in harms way so we try to make sure to do whatever we can to minimize the potential danger. Public restrooms can seem like pretty scary places.
Even so, I am not obligated to respond to your query. Nor am I interested in you walking in to try and manage the situation. In fact your presence there irritated me. Had I wanted an audience for this performance I would have found a comfortable tree to squat against in the park or alternatively fertilized the sidewalk with "Essence of Jack."
Truth is that I am rather proud of "Essence of Jack" and have had preliminary discussions for turning it into an air freshener and or manly cologne. Apparently you disagreed as not only did you wander in, you coughed/gagged and then yelled something along the lines of "hurry up, there is a man in there who didn't respond when I called."
I was a bit confused by this and had to fight the urge to call out to you something sarcastic about your "fecal mental power" but I didn't think that you were smart enough to understand the play on words. Not to mention that I was transfixed with your shouting at your son to "hold his penis." He is a boy, do you really have to ask.
You should also know that I had to work hard not to ask you to get some toilet paper for me. It wasn't because I was running out, but because I was irritated with your being there. Had I been single I might have moved faster and attempted to make some sort of love connection. It would have made a great story.
We could have had so much fun explaining to our friends that on our first date I proved that I am not full of crap. Alas it was not meant to be. Still, all is not lost as I now can tell a story about bad timing, lost love and what could have been.
"Free To Be... You And Me"
Again I'll refer to the Wikipedia entry and a few excerpts. Oy, I feel old.
Free to Be… You and Me is a record album and illustrated songbook for children, first released in November 1972, and later in 1974 as a television special, featuring songs and stories from celebrities (credited as "Marlo Thomas and Friends"). Using poetry, songs, and sketches, the basic concept was to salute values such as individuality, tolerance, and happiness with one's identity; a major thematic message is that you, whether a boy or a girl, can achieve anything you want. The album has become a cult classic amongst many children raised in the 1970s.
The original idea to create the album came from Thomas; she wanted to teach her then-young niece Dionne about life. A well-received sequel, Free to Be . . . A Family, was produced in 1987.
The album has been published by Arista Records since 1983 (it was first published by Bell Records), and is still in print today.
Track listing
- "Free To Be... You And Me" - Music by Stephen Lawrence, Lyrics by Bruce Hart, Performed by The New Seekers
- "Boy Meets Girl" - Written by Carl Reiner and Peter Stone, Performed by Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas
- "When We Grow Up" - Music by Stephen Lawrence, Lyrics by Shelley Miller, Performed by Diana Ross
- "Don't Dress Your Cat In An Apron" - Performed by Billy De Wolfe
- "Parents Are People" - Music and Lyrics by Carol Hall, Performed by Harry Belafonte and Marlo Thomas
- "Housework" - Performed by Carol Channing
- "Helping" - Written by Shel Silverstein, Performed by Tom Smothers
- "Ladies First" - Performed by Marlo Thomas
- "Dudley Pippin And The Principal" - Performed by Billy De Wolfe, Bobby Morse, and Marlo Thomas
- "It's All Right To Cry" - Music and Lyrics by Carol Hall, Performed by Rosey Grier
- "Sister And Brothers" - Music by Stephen Lawrence, Lyrics by Bruce Hart, Performed by Sisters and Brothers
- "My Dog Is A Plumber" - Performed by Dick Cavett
- "William's Doll" - Music by Mary Rodgers, Lyrics by Sheldon Harnick, Performed by Alan Alda and Marlo Thomas
- "Atalanta" - Performed by Alan Alda and Marlo Thomas
- "Grandma" - Performed by Diana Sands
- "Girl Land" - Music by Mary Rodgers, Lyrics by Bruce Hart, Performed by Jack Cassidy and Shirley Jones
- "Dudley Pippin And His No-Friend" - Performed by Bobby Morse and Marlo Thomas
- "Glad To Have A Friend Like You" - Music and Lyrics by Carol Hall, Performed by Marlo Thomas
Gratitude
"...gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted. In time, you are made to realize that the kindness done you is become a curse and you wish it had not happened.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography"
Today I was reminded that one of the most important things that I can teach my children is gratitude. Someone helped me today not because they had to, but because they wanted to. It was something unexpected but much appreciated.
It made me think of the bumper sticker that encourages people to practice random acts of kindness. It is something that I do believe in, but also something that I have been known to make fun of or complain about. I suppose the best example of this is that every year I write a post about the hypocrisy of asking people to make charitable contributions during the holiday season.
If the charity is deserving of that sort of support then, well it is deserving all year round. Thus it seems to me to be somewhat disingenuous to give because of the time of year, but that is a separate issue from this. Let's spend a moment talking about gratitude. Let's think about how it really is important to have a sense of thanks for the good things we have and the bad things that we do not.
My children are very fortunate to attend a fine private school. Their mother and I send them their at great personal cost because we believe that they will get more out of it than the local public school can provide. Especially now, in a time in which the Los Angeles Unified School District is in crisis and so many schools are in shambles.
I'll never understand why we don't do more to improve public education. I'll never understand why people don't see the benefits in having a better educated populace, but again that is a different story. Gratitude demands that I spell out that I am grateful to be able to send the children there.
And gratitude demands that I acknowledge that they are often surrounded by children who come from very affluent homes and as such often have everything they ask for. That is a potential problem. When you want for nothing it is easy to forget to be grateful.
I have been guilty of this. There have been moments where I haven't been as appreciative as I could or should be. But moments like today serve as reminders, little beacons of light that inspire me. They remind me that the kind of children I want to raise think like this. They pay attention to those around them and offer help because it is the right thing to do, not because they are currying favor.
The quote above also reminds me that there have been moments in my life where I have been frustrated by offers of help. Moments where my gratitude was colored by anger and that perhaps I could have been more gracious in my response.
So today was a good reminder and another piece in the mosaic of my life. Another reminder of who I want to be and who I hope to help my children grow to be. Such a simple gesture and so much benefit. Sometimes life can be ever so painful and other times exceptionally sweet.
The yin and the yang make it interesting and the people make it exceptional.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography"
Today I was reminded that one of the most important things that I can teach my children is gratitude. Someone helped me today not because they had to, but because they wanted to. It was something unexpected but much appreciated.
It made me think of the bumper sticker that encourages people to practice random acts of kindness. It is something that I do believe in, but also something that I have been known to make fun of or complain about. I suppose the best example of this is that every year I write a post about the hypocrisy of asking people to make charitable contributions during the holiday season.
If the charity is deserving of that sort of support then, well it is deserving all year round. Thus it seems to me to be somewhat disingenuous to give because of the time of year, but that is a separate issue from this. Let's spend a moment talking about gratitude. Let's think about how it really is important to have a sense of thanks for the good things we have and the bad things that we do not.
My children are very fortunate to attend a fine private school. Their mother and I send them their at great personal cost because we believe that they will get more out of it than the local public school can provide. Especially now, in a time in which the Los Angeles Unified School District is in crisis and so many schools are in shambles.
I'll never understand why we don't do more to improve public education. I'll never understand why people don't see the benefits in having a better educated populace, but again that is a different story. Gratitude demands that I spell out that I am grateful to be able to send the children there.
And gratitude demands that I acknowledge that they are often surrounded by children who come from very affluent homes and as such often have everything they ask for. That is a potential problem. When you want for nothing it is easy to forget to be grateful.
I have been guilty of this. There have been moments where I haven't been as appreciative as I could or should be. But moments like today serve as reminders, little beacons of light that inspire me. They remind me that the kind of children I want to raise think like this. They pay attention to those around them and offer help because it is the right thing to do, not because they are currying favor.
The quote above also reminds me that there have been moments in my life where I have been frustrated by offers of help. Moments where my gratitude was colored by anger and that perhaps I could have been more gracious in my response.
So today was a good reminder and another piece in the mosaic of my life. Another reminder of who I want to be and who I hope to help my children grow to be. Such a simple gesture and so much benefit. Sometimes life can be ever so painful and other times exceptionally sweet.
The yin and the yang make it interesting and the people make it exceptional.
This Is Why I Want To Direct Movies
via youtube.com
I am not a director. Haven't had any training, but I like to think that I know how to tell a story. This clip here calls out to me. It makes me want to learn how to do it, direct that is.
The chance to translate the pictures in my head into something tangible that can be seen is compelling.
How I Deal With Pain
(This is a small insert in Fragments of Fiction)
I don't like change. Never have. My mother used to tell me that I shouldn't be so rigid, that I should just let go and roll with things. It is a nice sentiment, but it is not me. I am more like the Oak tree from my parent's backyard. Solid, stable, unyielding and somewhat forbidding.
Ok, the forbidding part might be a bit of an exaggeration. I like to think that I have a look that can make your heart stop, but as of yet I am not so sure that it is true. But the rest is true. I am solid. I am stable and somewhat unyielding...in a good way.
If you could see inside my head, if you could peer inside my mind and see how and what I see you might understand. Long stretches of desert punctuated by distant mountaintops. The desert is a symbol of the lonely guy that lives inside. He is not empty or shallow, there a depth to him.
Days are filled with exceptional heat and the nights with deep cold. The place looks a bit dead but if you look hard enough you can see signs of life. There may not be a single road to the mountain, but there are any number of trails that can be taken.
I know, it is an overly dramatic image, but what can I do. We all want to be understood. We all want someone to be able to look at us and understand who we are. So I cannot help but try to show her. She took my heart, or did I give it away. I can't quite remember anymore.
What I know is that when she smiles at me I feel the warmth of the sun on my back and my load is lightened. For a long time there was nothing but sunshine between us. In my heart I knew that the dark moments would come but I never believed how hard they would be. It never occurred to me to think that the highs would be matched by such lows.
I suppose that it makes sense for this to be, but it has been a challenge. At times the pain has been...exceptional. Angst filled moments of anguish interspersed with cries of rage and the occasional tear.
But because I am a dreamer I always retreat into my imagination. I seek solace there. I picture myself as a sailor whose lost his way at sea. The compass is gone and the cloud filled skies make it impossible to rely upon the stars for guidance.
So I do what all sailors must...I sail. Each day I go through the regular routine and attempt to handle my chores without exception. It is not always easy. Sometimes I find myself wishing for a rogue wave, but those are few and far between.
One day the sun will break through the clouds and I'll see signs of land. That is the hope and the dream. Until then I bow my head and pray to whomever and whatever will accept my wishes. This storm will end and life will change...again
I don't like change. Never have. My mother used to tell me that I shouldn't be so rigid, that I should just let go and roll with things. It is a nice sentiment, but it is not me. I am more like the Oak tree from my parent's backyard. Solid, stable, unyielding and somewhat forbidding.
Ok, the forbidding part might be a bit of an exaggeration. I like to think that I have a look that can make your heart stop, but as of yet I am not so sure that it is true. But the rest is true. I am solid. I am stable and somewhat unyielding...in a good way.
If you could see inside my head, if you could peer inside my mind and see how and what I see you might understand. Long stretches of desert punctuated by distant mountaintops. The desert is a symbol of the lonely guy that lives inside. He is not empty or shallow, there a depth to him.
Days are filled with exceptional heat and the nights with deep cold. The place looks a bit dead but if you look hard enough you can see signs of life. There may not be a single road to the mountain, but there are any number of trails that can be taken.
I know, it is an overly dramatic image, but what can I do. We all want to be understood. We all want someone to be able to look at us and understand who we are. So I cannot help but try to show her. She took my heart, or did I give it away. I can't quite remember anymore.
What I know is that when she smiles at me I feel the warmth of the sun on my back and my load is lightened. For a long time there was nothing but sunshine between us. In my heart I knew that the dark moments would come but I never believed how hard they would be. It never occurred to me to think that the highs would be matched by such lows.
I suppose that it makes sense for this to be, but it has been a challenge. At times the pain has been...exceptional. Angst filled moments of anguish interspersed with cries of rage and the occasional tear.
But because I am a dreamer I always retreat into my imagination. I seek solace there. I picture myself as a sailor whose lost his way at sea. The compass is gone and the cloud filled skies make it impossible to rely upon the stars for guidance.
So I do what all sailors must...I sail. Each day I go through the regular routine and attempt to handle my chores without exception. It is not always easy. Sometimes I find myself wishing for a rogue wave, but those are few and far between.
One day the sun will break through the clouds and I'll see signs of land. That is the hope and the dream. Until then I bow my head and pray to whomever and whatever will accept my wishes. This storm will end and life will change...again
The Qualm Before The Storm
It is the qualm before the storm and I have my game face on. Armed with a bad attitude, a cup of coffee and unrivaled ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory I prepare to go into battle. Not unlike those mentioned in Tennyson's The Charge of The Light Brigade I am not given the choice to ask why it must be so. All I know is that I must press on, forward ever forward.
"Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred."
Those who know me best know that I love this kind of stuff. Give me an impossible situation and I will tell you how I am going to beat it. I have a plan. What, you say you want to see me fight a Great White Shark? Ok, no problem. First step is to agree that he/she has to fight me on land. It is a small step in equalizing the playing field, but not as large as you might think.
What, you say that it is not fair- sharks can't breathe on land. Fine, I can't breathe underwater. Ok, let's pick a different animal. I'll fight a gorilla, lion, bear or tiger on land. Snakes, crocodiles, alligators and water buffaloes are eligible for the famous Jack beat down as well.
Blame it on an over developed ego or an imagination that views the world in technicolor- but I just believe that in the end I will win. And that my friends is how I overcome adversity.
It is no secret that 2009, the year of my 40th birthday ranks among the worst of my life. If ever there was a time where I felt like I was really walking through hell in a gasoline suit that was it. The proverbial shitstorm was in full effect and it was all I could do not to run naked through the hills covered in mud screaming like I had just escaped a life sentence in cleveland.
I swore that 2010 would be better, that it would be the year of Jack and for the most part it has been. But there have been more than a few moments where I have felt as if I was being punished. Moments in which I looked in the mirror and asked the universe to give me a list of which transgressions I was being spanked for.
See you have to understand, if I am going to be punished for something I want to make sure that I have earned it. No reason to go through hell for nothing. I interpreted the silence as license to go about my business and do what I have to do.
Although I should add that I recently had a long conversation with a friend about whether life is a series of predestined events, things that are meant to be or just random situations that we encounter. I want to believe that some things are meant to be. I want to believe that there is a reason, a purpose for some of the things that we experience because that would be comforting.
There have been many moments in which I have felt like I am being given signs/signals that I am to respond to but at the same time there are reasons to ignore them. The 17 long time readers know that I have lost more than a few friends to terminal illnesses. You can't tell me that they died for some mysterious reason that I can't understand.
Say that to me and expect me to glare at you respond with a STFU. Press the issue and I just might grab you and shake you for the sole purpose of listening to your head rattle. Because really, if you tell me that a 29 year old man died because there was a purpose I am going to consider having you hospitalized.
Anyhoo, the qualm before the storm is that feeling that I have now. I am on the verge of getting over the hump. I am almost at the top of the hill and if I can press on a little bit longer and a little bit farther I'll get to catch my breath while I coast down the hill.
But recent experience has made me wary and gun shy. I can't help but look around for hidden danger, for unseen land mines or some kind of booby trap. Too many times of being made to feel like Wiley Coyote and not enough as the Road Runner.
Still, that sense of success and inability to quit won't let me lie down. It is just not in my DNA. You can slow me down, frustrate and infuriate me- but I will be back. So let the qualm before the storm linger for a few. I acknowledge my fear and uncertainty. That is the strength of life experience speaking- I can say that I am afraid. I can admit to being scared of failure and frightened of finding out that maybe this time I won't find the strength to throw the ring into Mount Doom. I can say that I am worried that maybe this time I'll turn into Mighty Casey.
Or maybe not. Maybe I'll be Roy Hobbs.
"Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred."
Those who know me best know that I love this kind of stuff. Give me an impossible situation and I will tell you how I am going to beat it. I have a plan. What, you say you want to see me fight a Great White Shark? Ok, no problem. First step is to agree that he/she has to fight me on land. It is a small step in equalizing the playing field, but not as large as you might think.
What, you say that it is not fair- sharks can't breathe on land. Fine, I can't breathe underwater. Ok, let's pick a different animal. I'll fight a gorilla, lion, bear or tiger on land. Snakes, crocodiles, alligators and water buffaloes are eligible for the famous Jack beat down as well.
Blame it on an over developed ego or an imagination that views the world in technicolor- but I just believe that in the end I will win. And that my friends is how I overcome adversity.
It is no secret that 2009, the year of my 40th birthday ranks among the worst of my life. If ever there was a time where I felt like I was really walking through hell in a gasoline suit that was it. The proverbial shitstorm was in full effect and it was all I could do not to run naked through the hills covered in mud screaming like I had just escaped a life sentence in cleveland.
I swore that 2010 would be better, that it would be the year of Jack and for the most part it has been. But there have been more than a few moments where I have felt as if I was being punished. Moments in which I looked in the mirror and asked the universe to give me a list of which transgressions I was being spanked for.
See you have to understand, if I am going to be punished for something I want to make sure that I have earned it. No reason to go through hell for nothing. I interpreted the silence as license to go about my business and do what I have to do.
Although I should add that I recently had a long conversation with a friend about whether life is a series of predestined events, things that are meant to be or just random situations that we encounter. I want to believe that some things are meant to be. I want to believe that there is a reason, a purpose for some of the things that we experience because that would be comforting.
There have been many moments in which I have felt like I am being given signs/signals that I am to respond to but at the same time there are reasons to ignore them. The 17 long time readers know that I have lost more than a few friends to terminal illnesses. You can't tell me that they died for some mysterious reason that I can't understand.
Say that to me and expect me to glare at you respond with a STFU. Press the issue and I just might grab you and shake you for the sole purpose of listening to your head rattle. Because really, if you tell me that a 29 year old man died because there was a purpose I am going to consider having you hospitalized.
Anyhoo, the qualm before the storm is that feeling that I have now. I am on the verge of getting over the hump. I am almost at the top of the hill and if I can press on a little bit longer and a little bit farther I'll get to catch my breath while I coast down the hill.
But recent experience has made me wary and gun shy. I can't help but look around for hidden danger, for unseen land mines or some kind of booby trap. Too many times of being made to feel like Wiley Coyote and not enough as the Road Runner.
Still, that sense of success and inability to quit won't let me lie down. It is just not in my DNA. You can slow me down, frustrate and infuriate me- but I will be back. So let the qualm before the storm linger for a few. I acknowledge my fear and uncertainty. That is the strength of life experience speaking- I can say that I am afraid. I can admit to being scared of failure and frightened of finding out that maybe this time I won't find the strength to throw the ring into Mount Doom. I can say that I am worried that maybe this time I'll turn into Mighty Casey.
Or maybe not. Maybe I'll be Roy Hobbs.
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