Ok, I have to admit that I played around with multiple headlines for this story. It was hard not to get more creative but I think that there is enough real material here to warrant a mention without the juvenile humor.
Rabbi Marc Gellman is a columnist for Newsweek who writes upon various affairs. In his real life he is the senior rabbi of Temple Beth Torah in Melville, New York.
In a recent column he wrote about his thoughts about what is supposed to be a recent increase in the amount of oral sex between teens as well as about sex in general. I applaud him for speaking about this topic because I think that it is a worthwhile discussion, but I have to say that I am very skeptical about the assertion that there is some kind of tremendous increase in the amount of sexual activity in our youth.
I do not have any hard data to offer you, just my own thoughts and experiences and that which has been shared with me by my friends but I have a very hard time believing that there is some kind of tremendous increase. For that matter I do not believe that there is any more sexual activity now than in the past.
If anything I expect that there is more coverage and conversation about these topics. Some of the social taboos about discussing such things more publicly are not as firm as they once were, but on the whole, I don't buy it.
I went through USY, Camp Ramah and a number of other youth groups and let me tell you, there was sex and sexual activity. I know from friends who attended NCSY, AZA, BBYO and NFTY that there was sex.
Part of growing up includes a section of time in which you are in hormonal overdrive and for many people that includes experimentation with people you love and people that you really like.
I think that it is important to discuss sex and the ramifications of it with our children. I don't think that it should be presented as something that should be done just for fun or because you can but it is a grave mistake to pretend that it is not happening and or not going to happen just because we wave our fingers in someone's face.
And for my friends who taut being Shomer Negiah as a solution let me say that the unspoken secret is that this still doesn't prevent sex. It may slow it down or force more creative solutions to having it, but it still happens.
Selective Memories
One of the best parts of the blogosphere is the voyeurism. I readily admit that part of the attraction is the chance to pull up a chair and read about your lives. I enjoy the stories because some are things I relate to, some are tales about experiences I'll never have so I am forced to live vicariously through your words.
And might I add that while I really do enjoy some of these stories, there are some experiences that I never want to have. One day I may blog about that, but today is not that day.
What catches my fancy now are the posts about dating. During the last couple of weeks I have made a point of checking out posts abou dating because I find them to be interesting. Part of what I find so interesting about them is the one sided nature of these posts. That is not a knock or slam against anyone, it is a natural thing. When you only hear one side of the tale it is natural that the perspective regarding what happened may be a little different from that of the other people who were involved.
Dating really lends itself to this because often there are such divergent opinions about how the date went. I know from personal experience and the stories I have heard from friends (both male and female) that you never know just how you are going to be portrayed by the other side.
According to many of my female friends the classic example of the difference in perception is often related to sex. I have heard far too many tales about how he bragged/commented about how good the bedroom activities were while she silently rolled her eyes and wondered if he had a clue.
But I have to tell you ladies that I heard many stories from the boys about how bad you were in bed. What does this tell me? It says that people like to talk. Nothing profound there, just what you can call the nickel comment.
All of this does make me wonder about my past experiences. I wonder how many fond memories I have that are not shared by the others. How many times do we fall prey to selective memories. How often do we censor the things we do not like and leave only the good.
And for that matter how often do we censor ourselves on our blogs so that all we share are the positive attributes. I imagine that it is pretty consistent. Typically we do not introduce ourselves to others by providing a list of strengths and weaknesses.
It could make for some interesting experiences.
Hi I am Jack. I have a great sense of humor, a dysfunctional digestive system and horrible gas, etc. You get the picture. If we introduced ourselves to others this way it would probably establish a different sort of friendship/relationship.
I'd write more but it is almost time to light candles and I have to get the kids ready for Shabbos. See you later.
-J
And might I add that while I really do enjoy some of these stories, there are some experiences that I never want to have. One day I may blog about that, but today is not that day.
What catches my fancy now are the posts about dating. During the last couple of weeks I have made a point of checking out posts abou dating because I find them to be interesting. Part of what I find so interesting about them is the one sided nature of these posts. That is not a knock or slam against anyone, it is a natural thing. When you only hear one side of the tale it is natural that the perspective regarding what happened may be a little different from that of the other people who were involved.
Dating really lends itself to this because often there are such divergent opinions about how the date went. I know from personal experience and the stories I have heard from friends (both male and female) that you never know just how you are going to be portrayed by the other side.
According to many of my female friends the classic example of the difference in perception is often related to sex. I have heard far too many tales about how he bragged/commented about how good the bedroom activities were while she silently rolled her eyes and wondered if he had a clue.
But I have to tell you ladies that I heard many stories from the boys about how bad you were in bed. What does this tell me? It says that people like to talk. Nothing profound there, just what you can call the nickel comment.
All of this does make me wonder about my past experiences. I wonder how many fond memories I have that are not shared by the others. How many times do we fall prey to selective memories. How often do we censor the things we do not like and leave only the good.
And for that matter how often do we censor ourselves on our blogs so that all we share are the positive attributes. I imagine that it is pretty consistent. Typically we do not introduce ourselves to others by providing a list of strengths and weaknesses.
It could make for some interesting experiences.
Hi I am Jack. I have a great sense of humor, a dysfunctional digestive system and horrible gas, etc. You get the picture. If we introduced ourselves to others this way it would probably establish a different sort of friendship/relationship.
I'd write more but it is almost time to light candles and I have to get the kids ready for Shabbos. See you later.
-J
The Ancient Comes to Life
Gail gets credit for tipping me off to this.
2,000-Year-Old Seed Sprouts, Sapling Is Thriving
Ancient Seed
"Several ancient date seeds were taken from an excavation at Masada, a historic mountainside fortress, in 1973. In A.D. 73 Jewish Zealots took their own lives at the fortress rather than surrender to the Romans at the end of a two-year siege.
Carbon dating indicates the seeds are about 2,000 years old.
Hebrew University archaeologist Ehud Netzer found the seeds and gave them to botanical archaeologist Mordechai Kislev at Bar-Ilan University in Tel Aviv.
The seeds sat untouched in a drawer in Kislev's office until last November, when Sallon asked if she could have a few to pass on to desert agriculture expert Elaine Solowey.
"I said, Thank you. What do you want me to do?" Solowey recalls. Told to germinate them, she said, "You want me to do what?"
Caught My Attention
Firm wants to rid Net of suffixes
"AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch technology company has breathed life into a project to rid the Internet of suffixes such as .com, and instead offer single names which can be countries, company names or fantasy words.
Such a system, which enables countries, individuals and firms to have a Web address which consists of a single name, offers flexibility and is language and character independent.
"The plan is to offer names in any character set," said Erik Seeboldt, managing director of Amsterdam-based UnifiedRoot.
UnifiedRoot offers practically unlimited numbers of suffixes, unlike the short list of suffixes currently in use. Its offer is different from other "alternative root" providers such as New.net which offers to register names in front of a small range of new suffixes, such as .club and .law.
"We've already had thousands of registrations in a single day," said Seeboldt after the official opening of his 100-strong company which has installed 13 Internet domain name system (DNS) root servers on four continents."
Iraq says pullout will lead to violence
"TOKYO (Reuters) - Iraqi Foreign Minister Hoshiyar Zebari urged Japan on Friday to keep its troops in southern Iraq, saying an early pullout of coalition forces would lead to more violence by insurgents.
Zebari said his war-torn country had made progress on improving security, but added it faced a crucial period ahead of the December 15 parliamentary election.
"The difficult part has gone in my view. We're very close to reaching a more stable form of government and of security," Zebari told a news conference following a meeting with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.
"Now, any premature withdrawal will send the wrong message to the terrorists, to the opposition ... that this coalition is fracturing and running, that their policies and strategies of undermining this process is winning."
He said he could not give a time frame for when the coalition forces would be able to leave Iraq, but added that it would be at least months after the new Iraqi government was formed.
U.S. defense officials said this week that the Pentagon planned to reduce the number of U.S. troops in Iraq, currently 155,000, to about 138,000 after next month's election. This could be reduced further to about 100,000 next summer if conditions allowed."
A threesome is not every man's dream!
A recent survey has poured cold water on what everyone believed till now was every man's dreams, by finding that though one in ten men would agree to have a gay threesome, if they were paid a 100,000 pounds for it, a whopping 83 percent of them would turn down an offer of sex with their wives and a sexy girl friend, even if the opportunity ever presented itself.According to The Sun, the poll, conducted by women's magazine, Morealso, also found that 75 percent of men also claimed that they would remain faithful to their male friends and never sleep with their wives/girlfriends, even if there was a 100 percent guarantee of never getting caught.
And although women seem to think that men always beat around the bush when it comes to calling a relationship off, the poll shows that only 14 percent of men actually said that elaborate lying is the best way to call it quits. And, only 2 percent thought that using text messages to dump their girlfriends was a good idea.
However, when it comes to their family jewels, the survey showed that all men would rather lose their arm, than lose their penis.(ANI)
Confessions of a photocopier repairman
"Photocopier supplier Canon is warning customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period, claiming that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25 percent hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank.
Such a stunt, a mainstay of the office party, often results in cracked glass on the copier, with 32 percent of Canon technicians claiming to have been called out to fix glass plates during the Christmas period after attempts to copy body parts went wrong.
Tim Andrews, a Canon employee from London, said: "We always fit lots of new glass to copiers after New Year due to 'rear-end copying.'"
In fact, Canon claims a shocking 46 percent of service calls are in response to non-work-related breakages.
Geoff Bush from the north of England said one case he'd attended, where a young lady had cracked the glass mid-scan, also jammed the scanner so that it wasn't until the machine was fixed and her colleagues all sober that copies of her backside starting pouring from the machine.
Partly in response to this trend--or perhaps because of the "supersizing" of the western physique--Canon has now increased the thickness of its glass by an extra millimeter.
However, one of the most alarming tales comes to us from service engineer Steven Mannion of northern England. "I had to repair a machine with a photocopy of a man's groin jammed in it," Mannion said. "
Goodbye Mr. Miyagi
"LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Actor Pat Morita, whose portrayal of the wise and dry-witted Mr. Miyagi in "The Karate Kid" earned him an Oscar nomination, has died. He was 73."Of course there were numerous other roles that he played, including his time on Happy Days.
"For years, Morita played small and sometimes demeaning roles in such films as "Thoroughly Modern Millie" and TV series such as "The Odd Couple" and "Green Acres." His first breakthrough came with "Happy Days," and he followed with his own brief series, "Mr. T and Tina."
"The Karate Kid," led to three sequels, the last of which, 1994's "The Next Karate Kid," paired him with a young Hilary Swank.
Morita was prolific outside of the "Karate Kid" series as well, appearing in "Honeymoon in Vegas," "Spy Hard," "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" and "The Center of the World." He also provided the voice for a character in the Disney movie "Mulan" in 1998.
Born in northern California on June 28, 1932, the son of migrant fruit pickers, Morita spent most of his early years in the hospital with spinal tuberculosis. He later recovered only to be sent to a Japanese-American internment camp in Arizona during World War II.
"One day I was an invalid," he recalled in a 1989 AP interview. "The next day I was public enemy No. 1 being escorted to an internment camp by an FBI agent wearing a piece."
Family Can be Stressful
It is close to midnight and I have survived another family dinner. I don't want to give any false impressions. I love my family and I enjoy spending time with them but right now there seems to be a higher level of stress than normal. I know the reasons why and some of them are things that I cannot help and perhaps that is why it is hard for me.
I am exceptionally lucky to have three grandparents. Each one of them is in their 90s. Within a few months two of them G-d willing will turn 92 followed by my other grandfather several months later.
From a mental standpoint all three of them are in good shape, although you can see the impact of age upon them. Their memories are not quite as crisp and there are little things that make it clear that they are not as young as they once were.
I am close with all of them. Each one of them has given me so much and asked very little in return so I am happy to spend as much time with them as I can because the end of the race approaches.
But I have to admit that I am finding some of the effects of aging to be hard. I admit that with a heavy heart because I know how much these changes bother them and I can't help but feel some guilt.
One grandfather and one grandmother are legally blind. One grandfather broke his pelvis around last March and since then has been forced to use a walker. I find it very hard to see him with the walker because he has always been fiercely independent, not to mention that in some ways I identify best with him. I see many similarities between him and myself.
The little things that we take for granted have gotten to be tough. As I mentioned he is legally blind so he is not able to read the paper and books the way that he used to. Since breaking his pelvis he has found it increasingly difficult to get up from a seated position and even putting on shoes is hard.
I help him with all of these things. I do it with a smile and he doesn't complain but I can feel his frustration. He used to tell me that if he had known that he was going to live as long as he has he would have taken better care of himself. I feel some guilt because I don't want him to be embarrassed and sometimes there is not much that can be done about it.
He has gotten stuck in his recliner a couple of times and in order for him to get out I had to basically pick him up.
The docs tell us that all three of my grandparents could keep on going for many years or it could all end tomorrow. I try hard to be thankful for the time that I have with them and to not worry about them but it is hard. One little fall and it could all come crashing down.
Did I mention that there is a severe hearing loss. What this means is that the normal roar at the dinner table is similar to sitting next to a running dishwasher. It is loud. It is noisy. There is a lot of clanking and crowing. You walk away from the table with a sore throat and question whether you had a conversation.
One on one the conversations are much easier. There is far less chaos and confusion and as I mentioned they really are pretty together.
Part of my stress is this fear that they are going to die, no the knowledge that they are going to die and that one day I will not have any grandparents left, just their memories. It is not how I want to live so I focus on the present, but I admit that sometimes it can be hard not to worry.
I am trying hard to make sure that they tell me their stories, my favorites and things that they never shared with me before. I want to be able to tell those stories too. I won't be able to argue as my grandfathers do about the best place to get a hot dog in Chicago, in part because they speak about places they ate at in their 20s.
I probably missed out on my opportunity to explore some of the bars in New Orleans that my grandfather used to hit in the 30's too, but such is life.
At a later date I plan on spending some more time writing my thoughts about my grandparents in more detail and certainly in a more polished manner. But for now let me say that even though things can be stressful I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am exceptionally lucky to have three grandparents. Each one of them is in their 90s. Within a few months two of them G-d willing will turn 92 followed by my other grandfather several months later.
From a mental standpoint all three of them are in good shape, although you can see the impact of age upon them. Their memories are not quite as crisp and there are little things that make it clear that they are not as young as they once were.
I am close with all of them. Each one of them has given me so much and asked very little in return so I am happy to spend as much time with them as I can because the end of the race approaches.
But I have to admit that I am finding some of the effects of aging to be hard. I admit that with a heavy heart because I know how much these changes bother them and I can't help but feel some guilt.
One grandfather and one grandmother are legally blind. One grandfather broke his pelvis around last March and since then has been forced to use a walker. I find it very hard to see him with the walker because he has always been fiercely independent, not to mention that in some ways I identify best with him. I see many similarities between him and myself.
The little things that we take for granted have gotten to be tough. As I mentioned he is legally blind so he is not able to read the paper and books the way that he used to. Since breaking his pelvis he has found it increasingly difficult to get up from a seated position and even putting on shoes is hard.
I help him with all of these things. I do it with a smile and he doesn't complain but I can feel his frustration. He used to tell me that if he had known that he was going to live as long as he has he would have taken better care of himself. I feel some guilt because I don't want him to be embarrassed and sometimes there is not much that can be done about it.
He has gotten stuck in his recliner a couple of times and in order for him to get out I had to basically pick him up.
The docs tell us that all three of my grandparents could keep on going for many years or it could all end tomorrow. I try hard to be thankful for the time that I have with them and to not worry about them but it is hard. One little fall and it could all come crashing down.
Did I mention that there is a severe hearing loss. What this means is that the normal roar at the dinner table is similar to sitting next to a running dishwasher. It is loud. It is noisy. There is a lot of clanking and crowing. You walk away from the table with a sore throat and question whether you had a conversation.
One on one the conversations are much easier. There is far less chaos and confusion and as I mentioned they really are pretty together.
Part of my stress is this fear that they are going to die, no the knowledge that they are going to die and that one day I will not have any grandparents left, just their memories. It is not how I want to live so I focus on the present, but I admit that sometimes it can be hard not to worry.
I am trying hard to make sure that they tell me their stories, my favorites and things that they never shared with me before. I want to be able to tell those stories too. I won't be able to argue as my grandfathers do about the best place to get a hot dog in Chicago, in part because they speak about places they ate at in their 20s.
I probably missed out on my opportunity to explore some of the bars in New Orleans that my grandfather used to hit in the 30's too, but such is life.
At a later date I plan on spending some more time writing my thoughts about my grandparents in more detail and certainly in a more polished manner. But for now let me say that even though things can be stressful I wouldn't have it any other way.
A Short Roundup of Posts that Caught My Eye
Dave covers the value of a Yeshiva education in a real life setting. Miriam discusses a different sort of Thanksgiving and BeFrank writes about real life experiences of a different sort.
Gail offers a Thanksgiving picture and Seraphic Secret continues their love story. More to come around the blogosphere or my world later.
Gail offers a Thanksgiving picture and Seraphic Secret continues their love story. More to come around the blogosphere or my world later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)