Los Angeles is home. It is where I was born and where I have lived my entire life. I have been privileged to travel all over the U.S. and to many different places around the world. I have seen a lot of cities and been through a lot of towns.
I have wandered through villages and hiked across mountains that captured my eye and captivated my mind. These places I have seen are part of why I want to live to be a 1,000.
I want to be more than a tourist. I want to do more than just pass through town. I don't want to be the daddy blogger who lives his dreams solely between the pixels, pictures and posts. I want more. I need more. But to do that I have to shake it up. I have to mix it up.
I have to take all that my children have know and turn it upside down and inside out. That doesn't have to be a bad thing. It doesn't have to be wrong. It could be good. It could be great. It might be the best thing that ever happened, but I can't say for certain because I am not prescient.
I remember the day you said you loved me and I remember the day you said that we had bad timing. I remember the day you said that you would never forgive me for not finding you earlier.
You said it during a telephone call so you didn't see me nod my head in agreement. It really wasn't my fault or anything that I could control, but I nodded my head because I liked making you happy.
It was easy to do and I liked the way your eyes would light up when you smile. I liked the way your I could hear your voice smile. I liked all those things and more.
You told me that when you were done you were done. You said that it wouldn't be possible to go back. I told you that I didn't believe those things nor did I accept them. You said that I didn't have a choice and to some extent you were right.
I couldn't make you do anything or feel anything.
All I could do was try to open your eyes to possibilities. Possibilities. Opportunities. Potential.
I said that I didn't want to go back in time because I am not who I was and you aren't who you were either.
We can't be who we were together or apart. But I am good with that because I know things. I asked you to meet me in the echoes of the future. You said ok and then later on you said I couldn't hold you to your promise.
That is true and I am ok with that too.
All I can do is try to open your eyes...again. Possibilities. Opportunities. Potential. I see a time in the future where you'll walk into the room and then take my hand. I'll smile and we'll walk through the door and find out what those echoes of the future look like...together.
These decisions and choices are based upon a combination of gut and informed decision.
I can't say what will happen nor can I tell unless I try. Risks have to be assumed and chances taken because that is how it works.
Reward doesn't exist without risk. Change is followed by more change and permanence is but a temporary fantasy.
I tell my children that though I wish I could protect them from all that is painful I cannot. I can't and that is why I have to push them into some things that are uncomfortable because that is how they will learn to deal with the hard moments.
It is not easy this job, but to quote Superchicken I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. Big risks can lead to big rewards Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. That leap is part of the search for the things that bring you joy.
What do you think?