August 04, 2010

When Will I Hold You Again

A sequel of sorts to All We had Were Words.

"We started a story, Whose end must now wait
And, tell me
When will our eyes meet
When can I touch you
When will this strong yearning end
And when
Will I hold you again
I feel the change comin'
--I feel the wind blow
I feel brave and daring!
I feel my blood flow
With you
I can bring out
All the love, that I have
--With you there's a heaven
So earth ain't so bad"
Weekend in New England- Barry Manilow

Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his seat, this Barry Manilow crap messed with his masculinity. He understood why June liked it, but dammit, did he have to be a part of it. With a shrug and a sigh he relaxed and accepted that it was just part of playing for the same team. It might not be ideal, but he appreciated the story telling aspect of the song.

More importantly he appreciated June and that was what drove him. Or maybe what he really meant to say was that during their time apart he had come to realize just how much she meant to him. The funny thing about it all was that there was never a time where he didn't appreciate her, but there had been moments where he had underestimated her importance to him.

It wasn't every day that you found someone like June. She made him feel wonderful. He hadn't realized how he had let expectations and life experience shackle him to an existence that was good but something less than he could have. Something about June made him feel like there was nothing out of his reach, that anything was possible.

Really you could say that she made him feel giddy and alive. Yes, that was the term...alive. He had never taken such immense pleasure from a simple kiss or felt so good holding hands. Every time she looked at him he felt like he had been hit by a bolt of lightning.

He knew then, now and later that they could have one of the great love stories. They were the couple that others would hate. Best friends who could spend untold hours together and never be bored. Lovers who set the other on fire not just physically, but mentally too.

When he thought about how hard it had been to be apart it really didn't surprise him to say that he had never been more lost or more upset. It was funny to recognize how someone you never knew existed could walk into your life and make it feel like they had always been there.

"And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me"
Home- Michael Buble

Sometimes during the separation he would imagine that he was a soldier at war. Sometimes he was a grunt fighting the Japanese on some island in the Pacific. Sometimes he would pretend that he was living out some Victorian novel that Jane Austen might have written.

Whatever the case was it meant that for the time being he was required to be elsewhere, far from home, separated from June. It was a silly fantasy, but it helped the time pass.

Back in the real world he was working hard on his career and making real progress. Long hours in the gym were beginning to show real results, more than one person had commented on how his body was changing. It was hard not to be optimistic.It was hard not to smile and to feel like the time apart was going to have been something that provided benefits to them both.

Good times were coming, more happy moments and the resumption of the partnership, or so he hoped. Time would tell, but with so many other good things happening it was hard not to believe that it wouldn't follow.

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