August 31, 2010

What I See Five Years Later

Here is what I know: everything and nothing. Something about this and a little about that. What I know is that I am not the man I was when I first wrote this. But that is ok, as much as I don't like change sometimes it is a good thing.

Here is a sample of the things I have thought about today. It is not nearly as explicit or as descriptive as it could be, but it is accurate.

  1. My oldest is a fourth grader now. The big guy is going to be ten years old soon and the little boy is disappearing faster than I can keep up. Every day he amazes me with a comment or insight about something that I don't expect him to know about. And in those moments I see flashes of the future. It makes me smile, but sometimes I can't help but miss the little guy. That little man who would lay his head upon my shoulder and softly snore into my ear. That little man is gone, all growed up. 
  2. The dark haired beauty is a first grader. She tells me that when she grows up she wants to be a mommy, a teacher and a baby sitter. When I tell her that she has time to be all three she tells me that she can't imagine it- she is growing too quickly and doesn't know who will marry her. I tell her to slow down. Reminds me of You're Gonna Miss This. I am not ready  to say that there aren't going to be anymore babies and maybe there won't be- but she is in such a hurry I wonder what happened to my baby.
  3. Time is moving too fast- not just because my kids are growing so quickly but because I am too. I used to be the kid everywhere I went and now I am not. I am not the oldest, but I am closer to middle age than 30. Much closer to 50 than 25, now how did that happen.
  4. I know more about myself and what I want than I ever have. No substitute for life experience. Every day I try to do things that take me closer to living my dreams. I know too many people who died young and others who are barely hanging on.
  5. There are more lines on my face and less hair on my head than when I first met you- but I still have plans for you. Dream big and take my hand.

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