August 17, 2010

My Thinking Place

This blog is my thinking place. It is where I come to air out my head, to release my troubles, share my pain and to laugh. It is a sharing place, my little corner of cyberspace. It is an oasis from life and serves as one of my favorite ways to recharge my batteries

My thinking place is a source of amusement and sorrow. It is a contradiction in that it is filled with both fact and fiction. Sometimes my thinking place is my home and sometimes it is a secret hideaway.  Truth and fiction coexist here, at times with all of the comfort of oil and water but still here nonetheless.

Here in my cyber home I expose pieces and places of my heart. I question the wisdom of my actions and state my demands. Here is where I eventually acknowledge the realities of my daily life and plot out how to accept/change/adapt/overcome them.

A Pirate Looks at 40- Jimmy Buffett
May This Be Love- Jimi Hendrix
I Was Made To Love Her- Stevie Wonder

Music is a constant companion of mine. Music is my friend. It can make my heart soar and it can make it crash. It is poetry and it is magic. Sometimes I feel like the songs whisper in my ear, pushing and pulling me to stand up and follow the feeling in my heart.

And that feeling, that call to my heart seems to grow stronger each day. I feel a change coming. I feel it with all of my being but I am not quite sure what it is going to mean. All I know is that each day it is a little bit closer than it was the day before.

It alternates between draining and energizing. There are moments when I want to stand up and welcome it with both arms and moments where I feel the need to scream at it. Moments where I shake my fist and forbid it from coming closer.

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can't speak for you, but I know that I don't want the quote above to define me. I don't want to set limits on myself. I am tired of dealing with fetters and shackles of my own design. So what I am really saying is that though I may be anxious about this change, I think that the best thing I can do is try to find a way to increase the amount of control I am able to exert on it.

Destiny calls...

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