July 18, 2010

A Six Year-old Speaks of Marriage

Technically the dark haired beauty isn't quite six, but since we have less than a week I am rounding up. I look at my girl and I see less and less of the baby and more of a little person. Truth is that the only thing she does now that reminds me of the infant I used to hold is sleep.

When that girl closes her eyes you can almost see her as she used to be. She had a full head of hair and she held her arms above her head in the same manner as she does now. But really she is all little girl now, my baby has grown.

She surprises me on a regular basis with comments and criticisms of this and that. She notices things that surprise me and regales me with all sorts of stories about school, friends, family and life. But sometimes she comes up with things that make me think WTF! Obviously I don't say that out loud in front of her and more often than not I try to keep a poker face.

It is a great skill to have as a parent. That poker face can save you a lot of trouble. Really inscrutability is valuable in many facets of your life, but we shall save that for a different day. Today let's talk about the moment where that girl of mine looked at me and said that if she didn't marry Jason she didn't know who she would marry.

That made me scrunch up my face or so said the dark haired beauty. But really, where does this child come up with this kind of craziness. We don't talk about it at home. What is with the marriage talk. Why is she talking about this now. I told her that she didn't have to worry, that her mother was 26 when she got married.

I figured that should be worth something. Intentionally went with the number one female role model and intentionally left out the part where she learns that her grandmothers and great grandmothers were all younger still. No need to provide that much detail.

Still, that girl looked at me and said that she is getting pretty old. I smiled and said that she was right. She nodded her head and said that any moment she might be losing her teeth. She looked at me and said that boys like girls with no teeth. I stood up and looked at her and demanded that she tell me who said that why it was important.

She looked up at me, the picture of innocence and asked why I looked angry. I was most certainly not going to tell her what her comment made me think of. And then she told me that her grandfather had been the one to say something. Her grandfather had told her that she was exceptionally cute and that I was going to have to work extra hard to keep the boys away.

Thanks dad, thank you very much. She isn't cute, she is beautiful but we don't need to say anything about that now. Let's talk about dolls, soccer or something other than boys. I am not ready for this crap. The same rules for dating my daughter apply now as before.

Unless you can beat me in single combat you may not take her out. All losers will be decapitated and their heads will be placed upon spikes to be displayed in front of the house.I figure that should keep most of the boys away. Of course there are a few negatives to be considered:

1) Decapitating suitors isn't seen in the same noble light as it once was. Rumor has it that you can be incarcerated.
2) It might cull out the smart ones who have the most common sense. So in effect I could narrow the field down to the kind of guys I really don't want chasing my daughter.

So I might reconsider the whole decapitation thing, it is kind of bloody. But maybe placing the kid in the stocks might be an option, or maybe not.

Ok, so maybe I am a tad protective of my girl. But what father isn't. I can't help myself. It is instinct. Sometimes boys are really stupid and my job is take the stupid boys and throw them under the boss so that they can't harm the dark haired beauty. The job description might not read exactly like that, but it is close enough.

What can I say other than I love her and am ever so glad that I have a long time before I have to worry about letting some other shmuck try to take care of her. I am more than happy to have that responsibility for years to come.

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