September 02, 2009

If You Died, Who Would Take Care of Your Children?

If you ever want to kill a conversation. If you ever want to change the tone into something more somber and muted ask a parent if they have made plans for where the children would live if something happened to them.

It is a frightening topic. It is a hard topic. It is uncomfortable to consider what would happen to your children if they were to lose their parents. It is painful to think about a future in which you do not participate.

It is a discussion that you have to have. As a parent you have to take the time to consider all of the angles. If the worst happens, who gets the kids. Who do you trust to raise them. If the worst happens is there someone who can provide for them. Is there is friend or family member who you can rely upon to take care of your children.

Will they respect your wishes and impart the same values upon them that you would. And assuming that you have someone in mind that you would like to act as a surrogate parent, will they be capable of taking this responsibility on.

One of my sisters and I recently spent time talking about this. We live on opposite coasts. She is on the Frigid East and I am out here in the Sunny West. Neither one of us is likely to pick up and move any time soon so if anything happened there is a good chance that the kids would find that their worlds had been turned upside down in every possible way.

Of course this is only a hypothetical, a worst case scenario that we hope never develops into any sort of twisted reality.

But you know the old saying, people plan and G-d laughs. As we head into another new year I ask again to be given the opportunity to see my job through. At a minimum I need another 100 years or so.

I'd like to meet my great-grandchildren. Is that so much to ask for.

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shavuatov said...

I remember having that conversation with my own mother. As I much older than my siblings, I was named as their guardian, in the event of the worst happening. A lot for a 21 year old to take in, at the time. Thankfully, the crucial time has passed and my young brother is now off to unversity and can look after himself. But I would have done it, in a hearbeat.


Mark said...

Yes, this is always a tough conversation. It is important to be aware and understand that all things are possible.

Keely said...

Ugh, hubby and I have been having this discussion since before our son was born. We finally agreed on a guardian, but have yet to actually ASK them. That might take two more years.

Jack said...


It is always nice to be able to look back upon situations and say that the worse didn't happen. It is far preferable to the other.


That is the problem or the challenge. You just don't know what can happen.


I understand. It is a very difficult discussion. But a necessary one.