July 24, 2009

Things That Irritate Me

Apparently I am doing an excellent job of becoming a ripe old bastard, a curmudgeon of the finest order. I know this because of the growing list of things that irritate the hell out of me. You may consider this a work in progress.
  1. I hate The Sound of Music. It grinds on my nerves.
  2. Names that rhyme with Artie. Sorry if that includes you, but you can blame your parents.
  3. People that know that I am Jewish and ask me if I miss Christmas. Never had it, don't need it, want it or miss it. I don't ask them if they miss fasting on Yom Kippur.
  4. Jughandles- The state of New Jersey needs to dedicate some serious time and money on correcting that problem.
  5. The D.H.
  6. Drivers who don't signal before they turn.
  7. Drivers who never turn their turn signals off.
  8. Drivers who force the rest of to listen to their music. I hate that thumping bass, one day I am going to invent a car stereo jammer and that will fix it.
  9. People who flush the toilet/urinal with their feet. Listen jackass, I know that you are concerned about germs, but you're not helping the problem.
  10. Brussel Sprouts- It is a foul vegetable.
  11. Cats- Damn animals are obnoxious. World would be better if they were all throw rugs.
  12. The French tourist who complained that he couldn't understand me. Listen Frenchy, you are in Los Angeles. I am not supposed to be able to speak perfect French. If I come to Paris you can be certain I won't complain that you don't speak English.
  13. The Celtics and The Pistons. (Cavs aren't included because they haven't done anything ever. Sorry Ezzie.)
  14. The Patriots and Boston Fans who think that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback ever. He is not and it is unlikely that he ever will be.
  15. Bloggers that think that is cool to wRiTe LiKe ThIs.
  16. People who send emails in ALL CAPS. Work with me people, it is 2009. Email is not new anymore.
  17. You can add grown ups who send emails that read something like What R U Doing? Spell it out. It doesn't take any longer and you won't look like a complete idiot.
  18. People who think that the world starts and finishes in Manhattan.
  19. Vista is bad, but so is listening to the cult of Apple Fanatics. WTF do they put in those units to make you act this way. I sometimes wonder if they secretly inject you with heroin or some sort of stupid pill.
  20. People who blame one political party for the ills of the world. That covers both sides. Not interested in listening to how the Democrats/Republicans are why things are bad.
  21. People who try to say that the point is mute. There is no sound involved in this, it is moot dammit.

3 comments:

CJ Srullowitz said...

This is great! We must, lulei demistafina, be kindred spirits.

And the DH is positively immoral.

Jack said...

CJ,

Clearly you are a man of distinction and fine taste. ;)

Ben-Yehudah said...

1. Jack...

Jack...

Come back from the Dark Side!

Look into the light!

It's shaped like an Apple!

2. Meow

3. "Drivers who don't signal before they turn." Excuse me? How long have you lived in LA? EVERYONE knows that you don't signal in LA,...because it's none of anyone's business where you're going.

4. If you want people to spell out "What R U doing?" then why don't you spell out "WTF?"

5. If you don't want French people to complain about your accent, probably you should stay away from the Louis XIV restaurant and bar on La Brea.