June 06, 2009

Joy & Sadness

I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Those of you with children will likely appreciate that sentiment more than others. It is one of those places that offers a momentary refuge in which I can be alone and unencumbered by distractions.

Anyway, this morning I was thinking about how big my kids are getting and how exciting and overwhelming it was to become a father the first time. As the water cascaded over me I remembered a moment that I had forgotten about.

I had gone downstairs for a cup of coffee or something and was just heading back to the maternity ward when I passed a woman and a few others crying. They looked vaguely familiar and I remember thinking that I thought that I knew them from the Lamaze class.

As I walked past I heard whispers of conversation and I got the feeling that something had happened. She had been pregnant with twins and for some reason I took those whispers to mean that something had happened to one of her babies.

Now I never did get confirmation of that, it is not really something that you ask. But for a moment it really took my breath away because for the first time in my life I truly understood the joy that a child can bring and the fear that can come with being a parent.

So even though these wacky children sometimes make me want to scream, I never forget how lucky we really are. They are good kids.

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