Dear Ma Bell,
It is me Jack, your long time customer. I am stuck on hold right now while your reps try to figure out what is going on with my bill. You see Ma, I want to pay it, but the darn thing is unclear.
So even though I love you like a mother I don't have so much spare cash that I can just throw it around. So far the past 27 minutes I have listened as your people tried to explain what is going on.
The not so funny part is that even they are confused by this so they have placed me on hold so that they can try and decipher your billing hieroglyphics. Needless to say I am growing less and less pleased with being stuck here for so long. Even though these CSRs are trying hard I am frustrated because no one is going to compensate me for my time.
This should help explain why you will not receive a Mother's Day card or gift from me this year. Thanks for helping to waste my time, you suck.
With much love,