November 01, 2005

Truth In Politics


I have a flurry of posts bouncing around the cavernous empty space that stands between my ears. It is a veritable blizzard, but not the kind that you would find at your local Dairy Queen. Although I must say that the thought of eating one makes my mouth water. Cue Homer Simpson sound effect.

When I was younger I was raised by my democrat parents to be truthful and honest, and honesty dictates that as a child I always thought that it would be better to be a part of the Grand Old Party because everyone loves a good party and who would want to sit around with a bunch of nags and jackasses, profuse apologies to Mr. Ed and Francis the Talking Mule.

As I grew up in the shadow of Watergate, Vietnam, Abscam, Iran-Contra and so many other affairs I wondered why we couldn't get more honesty in politics, or at least a cooler name for our scandals like Teapot Dome or the XYZ affair. Please note that since children sometimes read this blog I left Clinton/Lewinsky off of this. I would have included them but I couldn't come up with a name that didn't suck.

What I really learned from all of this is that I am an independent and happy to be one. I don't have much faith in the system (said in hushed tones) because too many people try and jack the system up. Did I sound like I have street cred when I said that.

Too few of our representatives really impress me. Too many people toe the party line because it helps them keep their jobs. Instead of focusing on what will really help people they help themselves. Too many agendas.

Speaking of agendas I'd like to address the many activists and the names that they come up with for their groups. I see things like People For The American Way, Concerned Mothers, Mothers Against Drunk Driving and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

If there was any honesty in these groups they'd come up with names that really described them such as "I Hate Working behind a Desk so I quit so that I could travel the Country with a Bullhorn" or "I am Incompetent and Angry But People Pay Good Money to Listen to Me Scream."

Now there is truth and there is reality and that makes me happy.

All I know is that at some point in time I hope that the two parties here wake up and stop waving their fingers in our faces because all that waggling and wiggling is downright irritating. The only things that I want to see waggling and wiggling in my face are gender related and I'd be happy to relate to them in person but I can't be more specific or my 17 wives will come and smite me and once you have been smitten you have a much harder time slinging this crap.

Of course ladies you know that once you smote your man he likely rolled over and promptly fell asleep, it is better than Ambien. So if you forgive me I am going to stop while I am ahead and start running because I hear the motors running and if I am going to avoid the sexy 17 I need to get a running start.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was this supposed to be funny because it was not. you suk.

Jack's Shack said...

Insults are more effective when you can spell.

Ezzie said...

LOL. That's true... that's why Dov's aren't so bad :) (okay, cheap shot)

Here's some honesty: One of the most impressive Senators to me right now - Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin. Honest, straight, and I like him even though he's a staunch Democrat. If he ran in 2008, and I didn't like the Republican, I'd vote Feingold - even though I disagree on almost every issue.