October 10, 2005

Actors With Bad Accents

This morning as I sat in the shower I pondered many important things like movies that have actors with bad accents. In particular I refer you to Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves in which Kevin Costner tries in vain to pretend to have an English Accent.

I used to be a bit of a Costner fan. I enjoyed Dances with Wolves, Field of Dreams, The Untouchables and Bull Durham. But somewhere along the way I realized that his acting ability is quite limited and there isn't all that much difference between Eliot Ness and Ray Kinsella and that kind of did it for me.

Keanu Reeves is another good example of an actor with a bad accent. What the hell was he doing in Dracula. Whatever it was it wasn't British.

And speaking of someone who could probably fake a good British accent, let's mention Sean Connery who managed to play a Russian sub commander with essentially his own voice. And how did they camoflauge this? They surrounded him with others who had British accents, such as Tim Curry and Sam Neill.

I think that I am going to write, direct and produce my own movie in which I star as a Gay Egyptian Woman. Based upon the success of these other movies I shouldn't have any trouble. What could be more credible than having me play the lead, certainly no one will notice my voice.

Actually, scratch that. I am going to play a woman who has to wear a burka. That should take care of the looks part of it and again based upon the past history of cinema no one will notice my voice, or at least no one will care enough not to see the movie.

8 comments:

The Misanthrope said...

Let me add William Hurt to your list of bad accents, particularly in the new movie "A History of Violence," which I would grade C- or D+. I don't understand how it received any good reviews.

Jack's Shack said...

I always confuse him with John Heard. Speaking of Heard, I ran into him at Costco last week.

The man looked like he had just rolled out of bed. Now I don't care all that much about how people look, but he looked so bad that I couldn't help but notice. Someone should tell him that wearing pajama bottoms at 2 PM in public looks weird.

Mirty said...

I always did picture you as a gay Egyptian woman.

PsychoToddler said...

William Hurt was great in Gorky Park. John Voight was great with a German accent in The Odessa File. The American guys in Spinal Tap were great. In fact, I much prefer their fake British Accent to a real british accent. Also I was very good when my wife met me for the fist time in Chicago and thought I was from Liverpool.

But anything with Kevin Costner where he isn't either a cowboy, baseball player, or military man stinks.

And Sean Connery wasssh playing a Lithuanian, not a Russshan. Sho thar.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

I love William Hurt, whose acting was top quality in the past.

What about a list of actresses with bad accents?

dorothy rothschild said...

What about Keanu in Much Ado About Nothing. Hoowhee was that stinky. But I do have to give it to Costner for Robin Hood.

I didn't see The Brothers Grimm, but I was embarrassed for young Damon in the snippets of his fake British accent that I heard on the t.v. trailers.

Why is it that British actors seem to have an easier time of faking an American accent than the other way around?

Jack's Shack said...

Mirty,

I am. ;)

And Sean Connery wasssh playing a Lithuanian, not a Russshan. Sho thar.

Nope, that was still USSR time, he was supposed to be a Russian. I am a Litvak, I know these things. ;)

Barbara,

We can do that. Who do you suggest we start with?

DR,

Keanu is just bad, period.

PsychoToddler said...

I Litvak also! On Father side!

OK, you gotta give props to Elijah Wood and Sean Astin. Well at least Wood. Passible fake British Accent there.