June 30, 2005

A Mental Lapse

Went to the gym last night to play ball. I found two partners and we ran the court for a couple of hours. Basketball can be a very simple game to play, especially if you do what I did and find teammates who are exceptionally good. It makes the game very easy. I like simplicity.

Last week I jammed the index finger on my right hand and then last night I added to my laundry list of aches and pains by jamming my middle finger. The upside is that it takes a large finger and makes it obscenely large so that there is no misunderstanding what I try to say to passing motorists.

The index finger healed relatively quickly. I was surprised, pleasantly I might add because these things tend to be nagging injuries.

Spent some time in the steamroom to unwind and exchanged war stories with the boys. Again I am convinced that the thing that scares me the most about being a father is not the usual mix of pedophiles, thieves and rapists, but one thing, ME.

When I think about the stupid things I did and how much dumb luck I had I cringe. When I think about being a teenage boy and how we looked at girls I think that I might have to lock my daughter up or hire professional bodyguards because her brother won't work.

He'll be caring and loving and at times very effective- and then a pair of pretty eyes will catch his attention and he'll be too busy staring at her body and thinking of my admonishment to remember that she is a person and that someone might look at his sister that way- to remember to keep the guy chatting her up away.

And with this I realize now how to spare myself the trouble of paying for the house. I'll have to sell it to have enough money to pay for the security force, school, clothing and all of the other stuff that comes with children.

Years from now you may see me on the street, I'll be the homeless guy wearing a beat up tank top and some tired hightops. For a quarter I'll spin a yarn or two for you, but if you want to hear the whole story it will cost you at least a dollar.

Maybe the best thing I can do is listen to the advice of one of the other players and just suffer a mental lapse about my earlier days and go from there.

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