May 01, 2005

It is My Life- Frustration

" Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going
"

Every time I hear Bruce sing
Hungry Heart I smile.

The law of the blog mandates that I undergo a complete confession and so I offer this for your digestion. This post has been ripped, mutilated, shredded and completely altered. It is missing the body.

The body that contained close to 650 words that I had placed here on my cyberpage. But there is a simple explanation for what happened to that body. I killed it, or should I say that I euthanized it. It had not heart, no higher brain functions. It operated like a mindless automaton and I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't take the whining, the crying and the pathetic mewling of someone who knows better. I am that someone.

And I know that the reality is that my frustration is in large part due to my own inability to formulate a coherent strategy and plan of attack to achieve the goals that I have set for myself. So instead of moaning I am going back to ground zero.

It is time to go back into the cave and hunker down over a fire and a drum and contemplate how I got to this point and what I need to do to get beyond this point. I have often said that life is about how you act and react.

There is a problem when you find that all you do is react to the world around you. You cannot live without reacting, it is part of life. But if you find that all you are doing is reacting it means that you have become a passive participant and I cannot do that. I cannot be that guy, it just chaps my hide.

It makes me feel like I am letting myself down and that I cannot have. I cannot fool myself so it is time to reflect and figure out a new course of action.

And that brings me to my next point. I believe in failure because without failure we are limited in our ability to learn and grow as people. Failure should not become a habit, but it shouldn't be viewed as a hurdle that you cannot overcome.

On The Apprentice Donald Trump consistently accuses the team that loses the challenge of being a failure. And those contestants that allow him to brand them as failures in the most negative sense of the word are fired.

I have failed at different things. And in each experience I have learned more about myself and life. I hate failing. It sucks. I am not used to it, but I understand how to use it as a tool motivates and that is an important lesson/trick.

Time for bed here in paradise. Lailah tov from Los Angeles.

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