February 20, 2005

A Journey With No Destination in Mind

I started this blog last May. It was a whim that I decided to entertain, I hadn't any sense of what it would become, didn't know why I was doing it, just did it. And that is how this journey began, I packed very little and figured that I'd find what I needed on the road.

In my mind I saw myself walking alongside railroad tracks. There was a forest, lots of green trees, blue skies and the mountains were not far ahead. I was alone and comfortable in my solitude. The weather was pleasant, just warm enough for me to feel the heat of the sun on my back but not so hot that I found it to be uncomfortable.

Along the way the journey became an adventure and like all good adventures I have dealt with challenges and adversity, met colorful characters and learned about myself and others. If this were an afterschool special or some other kind of story now is the time in which I would lay out what I have learned, but it is not and frankly it is too early to reveal all of the lessons. In truth there are many more to be learned.

But I can say that during the journey I have learned that I have fewer limitations than I thought, a much stronger will than I had thought and that losing some things are far scarier than I would have thought.

Life is like that. It doesn't always give you what you think it should, it places burdens upon people that are not fair. There are times in which it kicks you in the teeth and times in which you are suprised by the things that you are given. The trick is not to try and foresee every possible scenario, but to be prepared to just roll with the punches. If you can play the hand you are dealt and not complain about what should have happened you end up being much happier.

And that is a lesson that I am trying hard to pass on to my children. But there is more to it than that. It is not as simple as saying that you should just accept what you are given, you don't have to nor should you. But you need to learn to distinguish between what should be accepted and what should not be.

One of the challenges of this journey that I have tentatively accepted is trying to write a novel, or maybe it is just a short story. I have written very litttle, it is just fragments of a story that is floating in my mind, not really sure how the pieces fit together or what it is supposed to be. It is ok, I don't have a problem with that. I started an adjunct blog (http://fragmentsoffictionanovel.blogspot.com) which I am going to use to play around with this idea.

It may be a short lived experiment or it may turn into something larger. The goal is not to be published, although that would be nice, the goal is to just follow the tracks and enjoy the sights along the way. Life as a hobo is something that could be fun. Who knows what else is out there.

One other image to share with you. Towards the end of "Field of Dreams" James Earl Jones is preparing to walk into the cornfields with the other ballplayers. As he steps into the field, he pulls the stalks apart and then turns back into the camera accompanied by a soft giggle and smile. You don't know what lies out there, but you cannot help but be intrigued and excited about it. And that is how I feel right now.

No comments: