It is something that I have been thinking about because recently some of those words have gotten stuck inside my head and I have felt them bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball. That damn thing ricochets off of this and that and I feel myself growing ever more irritated.
That fire that burns inside never goes out and when shit like that starts I feel the temperature go up a few notches. The words inside my mind aren't unleashed. I don't say everything that I am thinking. I don't unload the way that I can because it doesn't make sense.
I have learned to take a breath when heart battles head. If I set those words free I can guarantee that they will find their way under the skin. They cut to the quick and they are painful.
Lashing out might make me feel better for a moment but it doesn't necessarily serve my cause nor is it necessarily warranted.
So I step back and look at it all like I am playing chess. I measure, analyze and consider intent. Were they meant to be accepted at face value or were they just thrown out without any regard for consequences. Maybe it is somewhere in between.
I am the most impatient and patient man I know. I look out the window and ask if actions accompanied those words and think that maybe there is a contradiction between what is said and what is done.
When I find that inconsistency I call bullshit and say that I don't buy what is being sold so I shrug my shoulders and head a different direction.
There are holes in this story. Giant, gaping holes that will be filled one day, maybe.
I make my own fortune.
Sincerely,
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