"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
— Groucho Marx
I am a big fan of Letters of Note. It is a constant source of amusement. I loved the response that Saroyan got about wanting to become an editor:
I note what you say about your aspiration to edit a magazine. I am sending you by this mail a six-chambered revolver. Load it and fire every one into your head.