November 22, 2011

Just Write- Perspective

It is another night where I haven't found a way to get to bed before midnight. Another night where my body and soul ache and I wonder what lies around the bend.

That ache I feel fits into the category of hurts so good. There is pleasure and there is pain but just where one ends and the other begins I cannot say.

It is all about perspective. That is something that I have known for a million years or more but knowledge and action are two different things. I keep pushing to make the Nanowrimo story into something meaningful and special. I keep pushing people to read it because it feels like there is something there. It feels like I have captured the thread of something significant but then again I fear that I haven't.

There are relatively few comments on it and though what I have received is positive I can't help but wonder if I lack perspective. I see the story in my head. I don't know all of the details yet. I can't tell you where I am going with it or how long it will take to get there but I know that I am on my way.

But it is possible that the song I am singing isn't the one you hear and the picture I am painting isn't the one that you can see. It is possible that words, thoughts, memories and meanings aren't things that can be told or shared. You might not be able to see what I see and there is nothing that I can do about that.

It shouldn't bother me but I find myself troubled by it and I am not quite sure why. Maybe it is because there is so much going on I haven't the bandwidth left to just let things roll the way I would normally do. It may be that I am just mentally exhausted and that has drained much of my capacity for not caring.

But the again who knows and who sees. Does any of this really matter. The answer is no. It is only matters to me because it does. It is getting late and I find myself spouting gibberish so I am going to link to the other blog and ask people to visit me there as well as here.
But beyond that I encourage you all to Just Write.

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