September 27, 2011

Another New Year


We're on the verge of another New Year and in the midst of so many changes that my head is spinning. I am doing my best to view all of these as opportunities. Doing my best to maintain a positive attitude and take it on as best I can.

But I would be lying if I said that sometimes it feels like everything is harder than it should be or that there aren't moments where I want to stand outside and scream at the universe to STFU.

I feel a bit like Tevye in the I wish I was a Rich Man scene. While things could be much worse they could be much better and would that really be such a stretch.

But then again within the last week I learned that one friend lost her nine month old son and another lost her mother and sister. Lost of course being the euphemism that some people use to say that someone died.

August certainly had its moments. Grandpa died, my sister got married a week later and then we moved. It really is the kind of thing that makes some of us go WTF, but that is how life goes. And my job as dad is to show these kids that we can handle anything that is thrown our way so that is what I do.

I put on the dad mask and pretend that none of this bothers me and that I haven't a care in the world.

So here I stand on the verge of another new year and some things are clear to me. Writing has to become a much bigger part of my professional life than it is. I need to make the bigger push so that I can take the pieces of my story and weave them into a larger tale.

I have something here that can be special. I have the pieces of the puzzle and now all I need to do is figure out how to put them together. And maybe that is part of the change I feel. Maybe all these moments of carrying that weight on my shoulders has led me here.

There really are moments where I want to believe that these things I see and these feelings I feel are more than coincidence. There are moments where I want to look at them and say "now I get it" but that hasn't happened. For now I am alright with living as I do.

I like having two blogs. The main one is still over here but this one is alright too. This one here is where I learned how to blog and a million other things so I can't and won't just let go of it.

It is a good life.

This was part of the Just Write project.


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