I received confirmation today that an old friend died a short time ago. Three young children lost their mother to a disease. Three young children will grow up without a mother. Three young children are left to try to find answers to questions that have no answers.
A mother grieves the loss of her daughter and asks the same unanswerable questions. A husband tries to grieve for his wife while taking care of his grieving children. A brother grieves as well and does what he can to take care of his mother.
The questions remain unanswered because there are no answers for these things.
In a different time and a different place I knew them well. In a different time and a different place we were all friends who had no responsibilities but for ourselves. Life took us all in different directions.
I can't remember if it is 15 or 16 years since we last spoke. I am not who I was back then but clearly they have changed as well, or they had.
All I can do is give the family my sincere condolences and hope that the brother understands that my offer is sincere. If he needs a friendly ear I can offer it.
In the meantime I am going to hug and kiss my children. They may be asleep, but perhaps they'll feel a father's love for them. If I have one short term goal it is to make sure that should anything ever happen to me, they will never question that they were loved.
Soon I'll try to go to bed, but sleep will still be hard to come by. I know too many people who have died.