May 09, 2009

Another Birthday Comes & Goes

Another year has come and gone and I have another notch to add to my belt. My thirties have ended and I have entered that decade known as the forties. I stare at my reflection and mutter inconceivable.

The face looking back at me is familiar, yet different. There are lines and creases that are starting to display themselves on a full time basis. The twinkle in my eyes is still there, but there is something else there too.

Life experience has bestowed upon me a certain sort of wisdom that has left a combination of concern and ambivalence that I am trying to sort out. I unsettled. There are things going on that just don't do it for me. I am unfulfilled and in search of things that make me happier.

I feel the pressure of time to make some changes sooner than later. I have seen too much. I have watched relationships crumble and been to the funeral of more than one friend. Those experiences serve as life lessons that I look at as signposts and roadmaps that I intend to use.

There are many good things in my life that I am thankful for but I don't have the same feelings/tolerance for those that aren't adding value. You can't ever remove all of the negative influences and elements from your life, but you can minimize them. You don't have to give them free reign.

So I stand here taking inventory and doing all that I can to be the master of my domain. If you ask me what life is going to look like in five years I'll tell you that I haven't got a clue. Ok, I have a few ideas, but there are so many variables, so many unknowns that it is tough to give a good answer.

I have to admit that I kind of appreciate not knowing what is going to happen. There is something kind of exciting about it all. And I should add that it is not like I am not going to try and influence things. I have my thoughts and ideas about what I want to see happen. I suppose that the blog will be a good tool for chronicling it all.

Stick around and see what happens.


feefifoto said...

Happy Birthday Jack! You don't look a day over 40.

Jack said...