Playing in the background Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald.
Earlier this evening the eight-year-old boy that lives here, not the one that lives inside me, asked me how I figured out what kind of work I would do for a living. It was a good question and it made me smile.
I like having these sorts of discussions with him. It is fun to answer his questions and to try and figure out how his mind works. In so many ways he is just like me and in so many he is his own person.
Before I could answer he looked up at me and asked me why I was smiling. I smiled back at him and told him that since I haven't grown up yet I am still not sure what I am going to do. What he didn't realize was that I didn't really say it in jest. I am not entirely sure what it is that I want to do. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts about it, but the actual position is a bit different.
Jack The Folk Singer meet Jack The Astronaut meet Jack The Professional Ballplayer Meet Jack The Professional Writer Meet Jack The Doctor Meet Jack The Man
That is kind of what it is like in my head. I can see myself doing all those things and a bunch of others. There is a reason why I said that I want to live to be a thousand years old or more. I have a very long list of things that interest me and there just isn't time for me to devote to exploring all of them.
Now granted there are reasons beyond the time factor that I can't pursue some of the others. I am not much of a singer. If singing off key was a key element of being a successful singer than perhaps I might have a shot. I can't carry a tune all that well, at least not vocally. Write it down or carve it into stone and I can carry it just fine.
As the 17 long time readers know I love playing sports and have a regular basketball game that I engage in, but that is not enough to get me into the NBA. I play hard. I can say unequivocably that I have the heart and desire to play, but the talent is lacking. And though I might protest and pray otherwise at 39 3/4s it is unlikely that I am going to suddenly develop it. Probably won't happen for football or baseball either.
I suppose that I could try and invent a sport. With some luck it will catch on and become incredibly popular. First mover advantage will probably allow me to dominate it for a while, but trying to determine what that sport would be and then bring it to life requires more than talent but a bit of luck. Not to mention time which as I noted earlier is lacking.
So I suppose that I can focus on becoming an astronaut or a doctor or a writer. They are all real possibilities. They are all things that I can make happen. They are careers that can be had because I have the ability, the strength and the desire. They are careers that can be had because they involve a different sort of strengths than the others I mentioned. Force of will could be enough to make the difference.
But still I wonder if those are right for me. Still I look at certain friends of mine and envy their certainty. By the time we were ten they knew what they wanted to do with their lives. Not me, I haven't had that luxury. Me, I have had a different sort of path. As I told S.W. I love to hike but I don't always stay on the trail. I have this nasty habit of blazing my own course.
Ok, it is not nasty, but it tends to be a bit more challenging than just walking the trail that exists. I certainly find myself bearing more nicks, scrapes and bruises. There are times when I feel frustrated by this and I wonder why I take that harder road. And all I can say is that sometimes I have to do things my way. It might not always be the best way, but it is mine.
And more importantly I don't doubt that I am going to get where I am going, I just can't tell you when.