October 23, 2008

Shmata Queen, Oh Shmata Queen Wherefore Art Thou

That wacky woman known as the Shmata Queen complained to me that she doesn't have enough time in the day to get everything done. Now I am sorely tempted to provide you with a list of the stuff the crazy chick is determined to do because you would have a greater appreciation for this post.

It could be fun to poke about and mention that you have never seen someone take such care to make lists of tasks to do, or should I say that you have never seen someone smile so big for crossing off items on her list.

I suppose that now is as good a time as any to say that any time I get a hold of her calendar I make a point of playing with it. Little subtle things, like tearing out random days or weeks. I can't decide if it is more fun removing pages than manipulating appointments. Nothing like creating more tasks.

Sorry, I have a very juvenile sense of humor. I even pull on her pigtails.

During a recent conversation the old broad (she is not real fond of that term, but I use it endearingly) was explaining to me that no matter how organized she is she just can't get everything done. Reminded me of that commercial for Enjoli, you know the whole bring home the bacon thing.

Anyhoo I sat there listening as she discussed the Fall of her discontent and made the apparently silly suggestion that she learn how to sit down and relax. Jack was a bad boy. She likes to be goal oriented and she enjoys all that kind of running around.

I think that one day we'll have to arrange to lock her in a room with nothing to do and see how long she lasts. Maybe if she is lucky we'll let Uncle Noah hang out with her for a while. Now that could be real entertainment.

In the meantime I better find a way to disguise myself because that wacky chick is going to have my head when she sees this post, or at least think of having it. Usually I escape the punishment, but that is only because I come prepared for battle.

I think that I'll end this now while I am still ahead.

Crossposted here.

2 comments:

One Wink at a Time said...

Being that there are subsequent postings, I'll take that as a sign that:
a) the Queen didn't see the post, or
b) she decided not to have you beheaded.

Word verification: "oofla" which gave me a weird visualization of a Queen, on her throne with you prone before her, begging for your life. She turns to the guy with the beheading equipment, nods her head and utters simply (in her native language,) "Oofla," whereby the beheader dude proceeds to... well, you get my drift...

Jack said...

Believe me, she saw the post.