May 22, 2008

Walkabout- Time To Look For Answers

Freestyle blogging coming fast and furious. Various thoughts about things that I think I think or might not think that I think or could think that I think. It doesn't make sense to me either.

My father took a moment to complain/comment that my son has the same habit of asking for advice and then doing his own thing that I do. I had to laugh. I don't think that my dad is all that different. It is kind of a rite of passage of the tribe of Jack. You find yourself troubled about something and seek out answers only to ignore everything that was suggested to you.

I like the idea of the Aboriginal walkabout. It is that time when you go out into the bush by yourself and take some time to learn about yourself.

Sometimes I remind myself that change is not in and of itself a bad thing. The fear of what could happen can be worse than the actual event. It is not always easy to turn off your mind and sit in the silence. Sometimes the easiest way for me to do it is to exercise until I am physically exhausted.

My workout ends and I sit inside the steam room and...I don't really know what. I just sit there and continue to sweat. If I have done a proper job of wearing myself out I can't tell you what happens, just that I am there.

Life is a roller coaster. Some moments are up and some are down. The hard part is remembering that the bad times will change just as the good does.

The really hard part about being exhausted is that it makes all of your problems look more imposing than they are.

Got a dear friend who is fighting to get through a few challenges of his own. About twice a week I have to remind him that it is ok to be upset. It is ok to be afraid. It is ok to feel like things will never improve and it is ok to hope that they will.

That may sound ridiculous, but I think that he forgets. Today I told him that things will get better and he said that they could get worse. You know what, they very well might. It is entirely possible that they will, but even if they do they will get better.

Some days it is hard to get through the crap. I can only speak for me, but I know that there are times when I feel like I am living minute to minute. There are times when I feel like I am floating through life and that real happiness is something that other people get.

But I am too stubborn to accept that or maybe too much of a dreamer. Who knows. All I know is that I have some dreams that I am determined to turn into reality. I don't let the small bumps prevent those from happening.

1 comment:

FemaleJewishBlogger said...

After reading all the encouraging advice you give to your friends, I must comment:
You sound like a nice friend :)