San Antonio Will Win It All

It doesn't matter which one of the teams from the Least wins. Neither will defeat the Spurs.

Lebanon launches attack on militants in refugee camp

(CNN) -- Lebanon's military on Friday launched a new artillery attack on a Palestinian refugee camp north of Tripoli where Islamic militants have been holed up.

The renewed fighting comes after more than a week of relative quiet between the military and the militants of Fatah al-Islam, which is said to be affiliated with al Qaeda, inside the camp.

It was some of the heaviest daylight artillery fire seen since the start of the campaign to root out the militant faction. The fighting at the Nahr el-Bared refugee camp near Tripoli, which started May 20, is the worst internal violence since the end of Lebanon's civil war in 1990.

What is the difference between Lebanon attacking terrorists and Israel? The answer is that the world doesn't give a damn when Muslims kill each other, but bring in a third party and that is ok. Pathetic.

Sudan- We Will Strangle The World Cola Supply

The Sudanese ambassador has issued a threat in response to new sanctions on his country. Here is an excerpt from the Washington Post.

"It cannot happen," he said, "so rule it out." As for the Sudanese regime itself: "We are the agents of peace, people like me, my colleagues who are in the central government of Sudan."

What's more, the good and peaceful leaders of Sudan were prepared to retaliate massively: They would cut off shipments of the emulsifier gum arabic, thereby depriving the world of cola.

"I want you to know that the gum arabic which runs all the soft drinks all over the world, including the United States, mainly 80 percent is imported from my country," the ambassador said after raising a bottle of Coca-Cola.

A reporter asked if Sudan was threatening to "stop the export of gum arabic and bring down the Western world."

"I can stop that gum arabic and all of us will have lost this," Khartoum Karl warned anew, beckoning to the Coke bottle. "But I don't want to go that way."

Someone better warn this guy not to irritate the Diet Coke drinkers of the world. I know more than a few who will lose their minds without this drink. They say it is not addictive, but we know better. Go through with this threat and ten million housewives will pour into the Sudan and wreak havoc like you have never seen.

Oingo Boingo- Danny Elfman

Many of you are probably familiar with Danny Elfman. Some of you probably are more familiar with his work as a composer (theme to the Simpsons, The Batman Movie etc.). I would expect that many of you are also familiar with his time as the lead for the band Oingo Boingo.

Anyhoo, today I stumbled onto a video of a live performance of Oingo Boingo's song Insanity. The video doesn't do the song justice, nor does it give you a real sense of just how much fun the shows were, but nonetheless I am going to include it here.

I am also providing a link to the band's appearance on the Gong Show. At that time they were known as The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo and they definitely had a different feel to them.

If you came of age during the '80s you might appreciate the Dead Man's Party video which features Rodney Dangerfield. Fifty points if you can name the movie.

As promised, here is the Insanity video.

He Asked For Advice On Becoming A Father

A dear friend of mine will soon become a member of a club that should have a more exclusive membership than it currently does, but that is a post for a different time. For now I'll focus on sharing a bit of the conversation we had.

This past weekend we spent some time talking about the future and what it holds. Naturally the conversation turned to children. I spent a few moments bringing him up to date on what is going on with mine and then he surprised me with "what should I do to be a good father?"

The rules of the blog dictate that I offer honest responses and the truth is that I consider myself to be a good father. I am better than some and not as good as others but working at it. So when he asked me for my thoughts I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts and do what I do best...I rambled.

I told him that there is no more rewarding and no more frightening experience. I told him that he needs to commit himself to making an investment in his children, however many he may have. I expressed the need for a lot of love and affection. I told him that it is incredibly important to work with his wife on presenting a consistent message and that you can't try to be their friend and a father, but the reverse.

Young kids need guidance. They need boundaries and they need structure, but they also need room to play and to be creative.

I told him that I have never met a parent who didn't question themselves and some of their decisions. I said that there were going to be moments when you do something that eats away at you. Sometimes you make decisions that you regret. He asked me what my hardest experience thus far has been.

It is a hard question to answer. When my eldest was 13 months old he got the flu and refused to eat. We begged him to, but he was so miserable that he wouldn't. And because he had the flu he was expelling fluids from every possible orifice you can imagine. So we took him to the doctor and he was placed on an IV and hospitalized over night.

That was agonizing. I was a new father which I think made it even harder. The truth is that it didn't take very long for the IV to do its magic and in relatively short order he was fine. But it was a bit traumatic.

Of course that is many years ago so to a certain extent the memories have faded. It was hard to tell him that his great grandfather had died. It was hard because I missed my grandfather so damn much. It was hard because I wanted him to see that it was ok to be upset but not be scared because I was upset.

It was hard because he was nervous about his own mortality. I kept a straight face as I told him that there was no reason to be worried and that he was going to live a very long life, but let's be honest. There is no greater fear for a parent than losing a child. So even though on a rational level I was quite fine, there is a superstitious part of me that doesn't want to think or discuss that.

The real upshot to this discussion was that I told him that the reality is just like they say, there is no instruction book for raising kids. There are a lot of things that are clearly wrong, but beyond that there a hundred shades of gray so you really just wing it and do the best that you can.

UK Boycotts Israeli Academics-WRITE NOW

The British University and College Union voted to adopt a policy broadly supporting a boycott of Israeli academic institutions, as well as calling for a moratorium on EU funding for Israeli research.

THIS IS URGENT AND TIME LIMITED:

You can join StandWithUs, Fairplay in the UK and other groups help overturn this move, but please act right now.

We want to place as much pressure on the UCU leadership as we can in the next 24 hours

We want them to call a referendum of all the members to vote on the boycott issue.

Write an email now, keep it polite; don’t make it personal, but address the issues. They are:

· Express your dismay at the decision of the Congress to boycott Israeli academic institutions

· The UCU conference representatives voted for a step towards a boycott of Israeli academics

· Ask UCU leadership to condemn the boycott vocally and publicly

· Ask Sally Hunt, UCU General Secretary, to confirm that she will be honoring her promise to call a referendum of all the UCU membership to ask ALL the UCU members if they support a boycott.

· Express your feelings about the boycott - Boycotts are one sided and do not help anyone;

Please send your emails to:

shunt@ucu.org.uk
pmackney@ucu.org.uk
hq@ucu.org.uk
jointpresidents@ucu.org.uk
blovejoy@ucu.org.uk
mkeight@ucu.org.uk

With a bcc to:
info@standwithus.co.il, info@standwithus.com
ucu@fairplaycg.org.uk

(Above are the emails of: Sally Hunt, General Secretary / Paul Mackney, Joint General Secretary / UCU Head Office / UCU Joint Presidents / Heads of Higher & Further Education).

THE UCU GENERAL SECRETARY HAS SAID SHE DOES NOT BELIEVE THE GENERAL MEMBERSHIP OF THE UNION SUPPORTS A BOYCOTT.

YOUR PRESSURE CAN MAKE THE UCU LEADERSHIP ACT.

EMAIL YOUR RESPONSES NOW.

You can Fax the UCU at: +44 207 670 9699

More information on Boycott Responses can be found here: www.engageonline.org.uk/blog/article.php?id=1038

Do You Have a Favorite Post?

So dear reader I have a question for you. Out of all of the posts that you have read here do you have a favorite(s)?

Inquiring minds want to know.

My Third Blogiversary- Not Quite a Farewell

The day has finally come. I am officially observing my third blogiversary. It is a day of celebration and festivity. I'd provide you with a complete itinerary of the day, but I am really freaking tired so I am going with my favorite minhag of musing about this and that.

Truth is for a while I had a couple of ideas about what this post would be about. The idea was going to be to produce something truly meaningful. After almost 5,000 posts I thought that it would be nice to come up with a really good post, but I seem to be falling short of the mark. The ideas that I had for this blogiversary post came to me during moments in which I didn't have access to paper so I never wrote them down.

It is like when you have a dream in which you manage to solve that one problem that has been nagging you. You know the one, you wake up around 3 am and there in the dark you smile and feel a tremendous sense of relief. Unfortunately in the morning sunshine that sense of relief dissipates because the solution no longer makes sense. Like I said, I never was able to write down the ideas for this post so they are lost.

But that is ok. This place is called random thoughts for a meaning. It is an outlet in which I can express my feelings and consider my thoughts about life. Certainly it is not the same as it used to be. There has been an evolution of sorts and that is how it should be.

When I first began blogging I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I didn't give any thought as to what this would be. Unlike some other bloggers I didn't start out as a lurker who became a blogger. I didn't read any blogs until I began blogging. I just started writing and went where the words took me. As I mentioned above it has been an evolutionary process.

I'd like to believe that this experience has helped to improve my writing because that has always been one of the reasons for my blogging. The interaction with others has been great. I have made some good friends and exposed to people and places that I never otherwise would have encountered. Those of you who have been following along have gotten to share the ride on some very good and some very bad times for me.

The blogosphere has given me quite a lot. Along with much of the good I have experienced some of the low points. There have been some nasty disagreements and there have been several attempts to out me. Some people have tried to use my words to hurt me. It would be incorrect to say that some of these experiences haven't upset me, but it would also be inaccurate to suggest that they were so painful that I wouldn't withstand them.

I have a special message that will be understood by those it is directed to. Do not mistake my lack of response to your petty attempts as encouragement to continue. I have always reserved my right to respond and should I ever choose to do so it will always be in a time, place and manner of my choosing. The best thing for you to do is to simply walk away. I am a Taurus, you never want to find out if the bull has been sharpening his horns or not.

Now back to our real message. As I mentioned early on in this post I am a bit disappointed that this post doesn't seem to be of the quality that I wish it would be, but that is a part of blogging. Often the posts that we think are the best are the ones that seem to generate the least response from readers. More often than not it feels like the throwaway post is the one that does better.

I don't know how much longer I will continue to blog. That is not to suggest that I am going to lay down my keyboard and retire any time soon. Blogging is a marathon and not a sprint. In theory I'd like to continue for the rest of my life. That is quite an endeavor, but I suspect that it might make for some interesting reading for my children, grandchildren etc.

Anyway for the interim it is safe to say that I am going to keep blogging until it is no longer enjoyable.

Mighty Ducks Win The Stanley Cup

I know, it hasn't happened yet but it will soon. You heard it here, first...Sort of.

Killed In Iraq- Thank You For Your Service

I found this at Kesher Talk and thought that it was interesting. My thanks and gratitude to him and other vets and my condolences to his family. Baruch Dayan Emet.

The Evolution of Math- A Joke

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? Please read more about the "History of Teaching Math".

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Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

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Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
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Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
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Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? (There are no wrong answers)

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Teaching Math In 2005: El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. >La cuesta de production es............. :-\

Update: Just to be clear, I am not the author of this joke. It is currently floating around the net.

We're the land of the free for one reason only: We're also the home of the brave.

Seraphic Secret is one of several blogs linking to this fine op-ed piece which was quoted in the headline.

With gratitude to our vets. Thank you for your service, you are appreciated.

Is Homework Hurting Our Children

Boing Boing has a story about some women who have written a book called "The Case Against Homework."

"Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish 2006 book "The Case Against Homework" is a fine and frightening explosion of the homework myth: that giving kids homework improves their educational outcome. The authors start by tracing the explosion in homework since the eighties, and especially since the advent of the ill-starred No Child Left Behind regime, which has teachers drilling, drilling, drilling their kids on math and reading to the exclusion of all else."

It sounds like an interesting book that I'd be curious to read. Not unlike most things in life there is a need for moderation. There is a point to homework, but there is also a point at which it loses its educational value and effectiveness.

One of these days I am going to have to blog about the over programming of children. As a kid I participated in many different extra curricular activities, but what I see now blows my mind. The children of some friends and family haven't a moment of free time, in large part because their parents have them engaged in something all day long.

I don't think that this is a healthy practice, but as I mentioned this is a post for a different day.

How To Dispose of Clutter Part 768

There are many perks to being a home owner. These include an endless number of projects, some of them planned, some of them surprises. Occasionally these surprises are really fun things like exploding toilets or a hiccuping septic system. Kind of like living in cleveland.

One of the best perks of home ownership is having a larger place in which to store your stuff. George Carlin has a great bit about stuff that really touches upon a lot of this.

Anyhoo, today I decided that it was time to tackle the garage. In theory I do this every three months but in practice it is closer to every five months. The idea is that there is a quarterly inventory of the items contained within the garage during which items are marked as needed or disposable.

It sounds great, doesn't it. The problem is that as I go through things I find too many reasons to hold onto stuff. For example item X is something that hasn't been used for quite some time, but it has great sentimental value to it so I mark it as needed. Moving along I come across old clothes. Most of the time I am good about just dumping these things. If I don't wear it then someone else needs it more than I do. It is time to give it away.

But then I take a harder look and consider a few things. It is in good shape. I am no so wealthy as to just get rid of things and the way fashion goes it just might be cool again. Let's mark it as being needed.

Pretty soon there are two piles. One of them is the pile of items that are being given away or thrown in the trash. The other is the stuff that I want to hold onto. When I am on my game the piles are unequal in size as I try to be brutal about getting rid of the unneeded items. So you may be wondering what throws my game. The answer is complicated or maybe it is just me complicating things.

My kids. They have an uncanny ability to waltz into the garage during the middle of the sorting. It could be the middle of the night and somehow they'll sense that dad's working in the garage and they'll come on down. And once this takes place there is a new battle. They have their own system of sorting that doesn't correspond at all with mine, not to mention that their position on old toys.

Any toy they see in the disposable pile instantly becomes their most prized possession. Parting with it is something that they beg me not to make them do. Perhaps this is part of the reason why this uncluttering process doesn't take place more frequently.

But I have a solution to all of this. The best and easiest way to dispose of clutter is to hire a moving company to come and pack up half the garage and all of the items contained within the family room, living room and playroom. The way I see it this saves me the angst of trying to decide what to part with as well as provides me with an enormous amount of free space.

It is almost like adding RAM to the computer. But I must admit that all things being equal I'd rather move into a larger house or add about 2500 SQF for me to fill.

I'd like to flesh this out further but I just noticed the time and if I don't take the stuff over to the donation center it is going to close and there is no way that this is going to sit in my car any longer.

As Good As I Once Was

I used to be Hell on wheels
Back when I was younger man
Now my body says 'You can't do this boy'
But my pride says 'Oh, yes you can.'

Toby Keith has a good sense of humor. I appreciate the video and more importantly the lyrics/music. I hope you do too.

Taking The Fun Out Of Eating

There is a ritual tied into my basketball games. At the conclusion of play I take a moment to wipe the sweat off of my brow and then I head into the weight room for a brief workout.

My lifting is not what it used to be. In part that is because I don't have enough time to play ball and lift weights. So as a compromise I have an abbreviated workout. Each day is ended with a stop in the steam room and some time in the jacuzzi. These stops are often punctuated with conversations with some of the boys about various topics.

This past week one of the conversations was with a gentleman who railed on and on how to eat right. He is 45 and determined to get into better shape. It is an admirable goal and one that I very much appreciate, yet I don't think that I am going to have this conversation with him again.

See, I like to eat. I appreciate the joy and pleasure of a fine meal. A good steak, great sushi, some nice scotch or a fine bottle of wine are things that are pleasurable for me. But speaking to this fellow reminds me that there are some developments that are taking the joy out of eating.

I don't like labels on food. I don't want to know how many calories, how much fat or how many preservatives are in my food. I don't want to turn my meals into events in which I need a slide rule and a compass to eat. I don't want to use the quadratic equation to determine that I am eating too many calories.

The days in which I worried about these things are gone. I don't need a mirror to see that I am thicker around the middle than I used to be. I don't need a tape measure or a scale. I know what I need to do and more importantly I know how I feel. And I feel good.

It is time to enjoy eating again. And that is what I am going to do. As long as I continue to feel this way I see no reason to act otherwise. Life is too short to spend worrying about what could happen.

Comments On Old Posts, Keywords and More

There are so many little details about blogging that I find to be of interest. Keyword searches come to mind. It is just kind of neat to see how people find the Shack. For example here is a short list of some of the search terms that led people here.

does chewbacca have a penis? (WTF. Who thinks of stuff like this.)
i'm living in marina del ray man you better get a job lyric (It is Marina del Rey dude.)
teach son how to pee in urinal (Target practice- It is all about target practice.)
meaning and use of do so ( I feel like I am missing something here.)
sex with animal story (Are you interested in writing or reading one.)
origin of garden gnomes (Travelocity- You know where to send the check.)
i am sleepy (Take a nap. It is good for your heart.)
Luke and Frodo (Someone is mixing up their science fiction and fantasy.)

See what I mean. It is just so random. Sometimes the keywords give me ideas for posts. For example I could write a Star Wars/Lord Of the Rings Mashup story.

It is a coming of age story in which an unlikely hero overcomes serious adversity with the aid of some unexpected friends. Space ships and magic go well together. Darth Vader, Sauron, Storm Troopers and Orcs. Think about the cantina in Mos Eisley. Some of those creatures looked like Orcs.

Gandalf and Obi Wan Kenobi together at last. You know, you never see those guys hanging out together in the same room. They just might be the same person. Ok, scratch that nonsense. Time for the next thought.

Another thing about blogging that catches my eye are comments on old posts. From an intellectual standpoint I am not surprised that people read my blog. It makes sense. Blogging is voyeuristic. There is something interesting about it. More than that I think that people appreciate having the opportunity to see that other people face the same challenges that they do.

All this being said, it is just interesting to see that people will leave comments on posts that are relatively old. I recently received a comment from this blogger on the following post:

Is Sex Necessary? Can you Have Too Much?

If you click on the link of the commenter it leads to a post about sex and longevity. Without going into great detail, I think that it is kind of interesting.

I also recently received a comment on my Dennis Wolfberg post that I thought was interesting too. Click here and read the final comment.

A Few Musings About The JIBs

Just when you thought that the posts about the JIBs were finished there arises yet another post. I hadn't planned on writing anything else about them but I just stumbled onto two or three posts about them on other blogs so...

For a while I had considered constructing a post about the purpose of the JIBs. I still believe in them. I consider their purpose to be sound but like so many things in life the intent is sometimes different than the actual execution.

In the most recent incarnation of the JIBs there was a tremendous effort to make them into something that transcended the past. The goal was to avoid the pitfalls and problems of the past. It wasn't a complete success, but it wasn't a total failure either.

A small number of people worked hard to sow dissent and create chaos. They went so far as to create a blog which was used to smear various participants and members of the Jblogosphere. They called it satire and I called it a pathetic attempt by second rate hacks to be funny. Satire is a great thing, but it requires humor. It failed miserably, as did the attempt to besmirch the awards.

But the attempt to do so speaks volumes about the character of those involved. It is similar to the toddler who demands that the world attend to their needs. "Play my way or I am taking my ball and going home." Quite impressive.

Not unlike the past I still found the pandering and begging for votes to be silly. The blogs that used email lists to solicit votes didn't do much to prove their worth either.

However the JIBs did provide exposure to blogs that I had never encountered and that is a primary goal. I am appreciative of that and for that reason alone I want to see them continue. There is never going to be a time when everyone is satisfied with how they are run. You can't make everyone happy.

The management of the Shack is still going to push Haveil Havalim as being one of the keys to promoting your blog. It is still a great way to be a part of a community. Every time I host it I see my traffic go up. These posts continue to generate traffic long afterwards too.

That is enough on this for now.

Gene Simmons/Jon Voight On Current Events

Normally I am not big on celebrities and their P.OV. on political matters, but I appreciate those people who go against the grain and take the less popular stance. I don't agree with everything the men have to say, but I thought that it was interesting.

Here are excerpts from their interviews:

Gene Simmons

I'm guessing you're not in favor of the Iraq troop withdrawal bills being proposed right now in Congress.

It's not the policies and the bills; it's how we treat our military. It's how we treat our young men or women who go out there, at 18 years old, and risk their lives. There's no fame, they're certainly not getting rich, and a lot of them are dying, simply for something they believe. By the way, it's a volunteer army, all volunteer. The fact that anybody would have a fucking thing to say about that is astonishing. And the VA hospital that Sophie and I went to, it's about an hour and a half down the road from Malibu. These morons can't get up off their asses and out of their $10 million homes, get into their SUVs, and drive down to the VA hospital just to say, "Hey, what you do matters." Doesn't matter what they think of President Bush. It matters that 18-year-olds are getting out there and risking their lives. I didn't see a single person there. That's the most embarrassing thing. I'm furious at Hollywood.

No visitors at all?

No. Of course, if it means getting on a jet and going to Washington, D.C., to get in front of media, they're all there. But they won't get into a car where there's no media and just go and shake the hand of a vet. And we met, as you know, Vietnam vets and Korean vets and Iraqi vets, and it just breaks your heart.

Do you think the troops in Iraq don't get the respect they deserve?

I think it's worse than ever. Because it's never talked about. It's just never talked about. We used to have a dialogue. I mean, there were peace marches, and people forget this, but the Vietnam vets that came back were spat at. Now, it's just apathy.

But it seems like these people are protesting the war, not protesting the troops.
I don't see the difference. Aid and comfort to the enemy is when you do it through media and there are big headlines like "We've Lost the War" and things like that. What makes you think that any graduate of any madrassa in the Middle East doesn't blow that up? In other words, make a big copy of it and show it to everybody.

and now:

Jon Voight

You recently visited with wounded troops at Walter Reed. What were your impressions?

I was deeply impressed by them. Most I spoke to were young people, around 20 years old. And they were really very eloquent, very positive, very respectful. You have to be proud of the children we're turning out from looking at this group of people. For me, I would much rather hear from these guys than the people who are presenting the news on television on a daily basis.

Were you able to gauge the mood among the troops—have they lost a sense of mission?

These guys say, well, it's possible to win it. And I'll tell you one thing they said that was very remarkable: the increase in troops that has been recommended by the president, they say anybody who's over there knows the value of backup and we should be behind this. When you're out in that situation in danger, you want to know you've got backup. Only one guy said he wasn't going back to Iraq, and he had been wounded a couple times. But all the other guys wanted to go back. One young woman, a very attractive young woman, had her leg amputated. But she says she's going to find a way to get back into it. She just reupped and she said they would find something for her to do.

Do you think it's possible to win the Iraq War?

Here's what I think: this is a real war, extended beyond the borders of Iraq.

As in the more general war on terror?

The war on terror is real. People would have you believe it's not real. This is not Vietnam. This particular situation is not the same wherein we can walk away and just leave destruction behind us. No, we can't. Anyone who has paid attention to what [Iranian President] Ahmadinejad is saying, what all the mullahs are saying in this country and in England, and in all of the Arab world, this is serious—they're calling for the destruction of America and all democracy and that's what's going on. We could lose this war.

Was the Iraq war part of the war on terror before we got there?

I'm interested in talking about this, but it's been so politicized, it's very disturbing, very dangerous. My view of it is this: they say our president lied to us. Well, he didn't lie to us, everybody else had the information he had, and they voted for that tactic. And the idea of weapons of mass destruction, whether they were in fact removed to other places, to Lebanon, to Syria, that's still in play, we don't know the full answer of where all that stuff went, because they had it, they have the pieces. Now, whether someone else has them or whether we're playing a careful game not to reveal that we know where things are, that's another big aspect of it. The Administration's in a tough spot, because if they say they know where these pieces are, and they can't get at them, they're alerting other energies to know where they are.

So you think the Administration might know where the WMDs are?
We've got to be careful here. I want to have a conversation with a citizen who is trustworthy. I don't want to be talking to somebody who's going to use what I say to cause a sensation and make a few bucks.

This is a question and answer interview, so we're not going to take anything you say out of context.

I've got to know what your intentions are, what your purposes are. Because people call me up about my family matters and stuff like that, and they're only interested in selling a newspaper, they want to make things sensational, they don't give a damn about my well-being, or my family's well-being, or anything, and I don't like it. And these considerations, when I'm talking about our United States, this is serious business, and people are continuously using this stuff for nonsense—people are politicizing this stuff for their own ends. It's one of the biggest dangers we have right now. The irresponsible use of innuendo and falsehoods. It's a very big danger.

For the full interview with Gene Simmons Click here.
For the full interview with Jon Voight Click here.

Al-Qaeda Torture Handbook

The Smoking Gun has information about materials taken in a US Army raid on a house in Iraq.

MAY 24--In a recent raid on an al-Qaeda safe house in Iraq, U.S. military officials recovered an assortment of crude drawings depicting torture methods like "blowtorch to the skin" and "eye removal." Along with the images, which you'll find on the following pages, soldiers seized various torture implements, like meat cleavers, whips, and wire cutters. Photos of those items can be seen here. The images, which were just declassified by the Department of Defense, also include a picture of a ramshackle Baghdad safe house described as an "al-Qaeda torture chamber."

I am more than a little disturbed by this. Scroll down the page and you can see the drawings here.

Hat Tip: EOW.

Balls Of Fury

With a name like Balls of Fury it got my attention. And of course any movie that has Christopher Walken is worth at least ten minutes of my time. Although I have to admit that this movie has a very good chance of being horrifically bad.

Charlie Pace & Driveshaft Forever

Their second tour of Finland was great. You, All Everybody rocks! Of course there are a few people who never realize who they are hanging out with.

Songs That You Have To Sing Along With

It is no secret that I love music. Every couple of weeks I write another post in which I refer to song lyrics or list the last dozen songs that graced my stereo. Music is passion. Music is feeling. Music is emotion. Music touches you in places that are hard to reach. Music is a snapshot in time. Turn on certain songs and the memory parade makes an immediate appearance.

It is a universal experience. One of the most popular posts I have written is:

What Are Your Favorite Song Lyrics? Not a day goes by in which it doesn't receive traffic. Music has that kind of power and influence. To me it is not a surprise that there are some songs that you just have to sing along with.

Initially when I was writing this post I thought that I would share five or six songs with you and that these would represent the songs that I have to sing along with. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I cannot limit it to so few. There are too many good songs that catch my ear and hold me.

Instead I am going to try and come up with a slightly different angle. Here is an incomplete list of songs that are virtually guaranteed to make an appearance at campfires, parties and random gathering of people.

Hmm... I wonder if this is going to date me.

Your Song- Elton John
Rocket Man- Elton John
You Have Got a Friend- James Taylor or Carole King
Great Balls of Fire- Jerry Lee Lewis (If there is a piano this is a gimme)
Pinball Wizard- The Who
Cat's In the Cradle- Harry Chapin
You've Lost That Loving Feeling- The Righteous Brothers (Thanks Top Gun for killing this tune)
The End- The Doors (Obviously this is an end of the night, slightly inebriated tune)
Brown Eyed Girl- Van Morrison
Wonderful Tonight- Clapton (How many times have you seen some guy try to sing this to his date. It can be painful to watch.)
Piano Man- Billy Joel
Forever Young- Alphaville (I included this because of one of my little sisters. How many times did she and her friends cry listening to this song. Oy.)
In My Life- The Beatles
Down On The Corner- CCR
Simon and Garfunkel- (It is getting late, so I am just throwing everything in. Sorry, the screen is a hazy shade of winter.)
Do Wah Diddy- Manfred Mann
Thank God I am A Country Boy- John Denver
Hotel California- The Eagles

As I said this is incomplete and it is too late to keep typing. What am I missing?

$10 Airline Ticket

For the cost of a burger and beer, I bought an airline ticket.

That's right. I flew 667 miles, and it cost me only $10.

I am always looking for a good travel deal, and when I heard about Skybus Airlines, which offers at least 10 seats on each of its flights for $10, I went online and booked a ticket.

And that's the only way to buy a ticket. Skybus takes no-frills flying to a new level. Self-service is the theme here. The airline has no phone number. Passengers are encouraged to check themselves in online or at airport kiosks. About the only thing I didn't have to do was pilot the plane.

First Day of Flights

I decided to fly on the airline's first day of service. The airline is based in Columbus, Ohio, and all flights go through Columbus. I bought a ticket from Portsmouth, N.H., to Columbus, and then back again the next morning.

Both flights were comfortable, but unfortunately, the first one was not on time. The plane left 71 minutes late. Not a great start for a new airline.

Skybus' departure was big event. Most of the airport staff came out onto the tarmac to watch the flight. Even some Transportation Security Administration screeners came up to the windows to watch.

The plane — one of two new Airbus A319 jets leased from Virgin America — was roomy and quiet.

Skybus plans to lease 15 planes by the end of the year as it adds capacity. The planes have 144 seats, a few more seats than the typical Airbus A319. Skybus has a contract to buy 65 new jets from Airbus. Those planes will seat 156 passengers, making for an even tighter ride.

We'll see if this catches on. They are hampered by being based in Ohio, not to mention their food policy.

And like in movie theaters -- which also count on food sales to help their bottom line -- don't plan on brining your own food.

The airline's witty "rules of flying" state: "Oh, and don't sneak food onboard unless you brought enough for the whole plane."

"We're discouraging that because that's part of our profit model," Diffenderffer said. "But we're not food Nazis. Nobody's going to take away their sandwich."

I don't know about that, but if you are interested you can check them out here.

Some Posts That Are Worth a Second Look

Every now and then I like to give some old posts another shot at being read. Here are some that you might want to take another look at:

Suha Arafat Wants To Share Her Wealth With Me

The Dodgers of My Youth- That Infield

Doubt is Healthy And Other

It is Better Than Toilet Paper

Jack Versus The Hacker

My Son Speaks to G-d But He Doesn't Answer

What I See- Part One

Caught My Eye

The Strangest Disaster of the 20th Century.

Polka Floyd, a polka band that does Pink Floyd covers. (Courtesy of Growabrain)

Answering Nature's Call in Space

Seraphic Secret Is Three

If you haven't been you are missing out. Click here.

Basketball As A Metaphor For Life

Basketball As A Metaphor For Life. I like the way that sounds. I'd like to say that I deserve credit for coining the phrase but I am fairly certain that it has been used before. For that matter I can guarantee that there have been numerous statements that use that line. We could create a Madlib.

___________ As A Metaphor For Life. My inclination is to come up with several examples, the more ridiculous the better. In this case I am going to ignore the inclination and share a simple conversation I had with my son in which I used the phrase that adorns the top of this post.

The big guy and I were enjoying a father/son moment over the weekend. One of the ongoing components of our conversation is that I ask him if he has any questions for me. He always does. I can't help but smile as I think of the look he gets on his face as he tries to decide what to ask me. Some questions are more serious than others. I can't say that I remember exactly what led to the basketball as a metaphor for life story, but I can share how that went.

Little Jack wanted to know what I like best about the game. I told him that it is a hard question to answer, but that parted of it is because basketball is a game of desire, a question of will. Success in basketball is more than talent and more than luck. It is a question of imposing your will and desire to succeed upon the other team.

And in my opinion the best example of that is rebounding. Anyone can shoot. If you practice long and hard you can become a decent shot, but not everyone can rebound. Rebounding requires effort. Rebounding is more than being in the right place at the right time. Rebounding is about tracking the ball, anticipating where it is going to fall and then finding a way to get it away from all of the others who are trying to do so too.

I love that. I get off on out working and out hustling the other guys. Rebounding is one of those places in which you demonstrate desire. Hard work is the hallmark of a great rebounder. Oh sure you can find holes in the theory. You can mix great players with bad, tall with short etc.

But all things being relatively equal it really comes back to who is willing to work harder and that is a good life lesson.

There are a lot of ways to measure success. There are a hundred methods we can use to try and say why one person is more successful than another, but why complicate it.

If you want to make it. If you want to be successful you can follow the same path as the great rebounder. Dig, dig, dig. Hustle, push, grind, pull, push, hustle and dig. Get to the ball first. Use your body to block others. Find ways to play smarter so that you do not exhaust yourself. Use the angles to shorten the court.

Work hard.

That is the simplest way to put it and that is essentially what I explained to him. It is nice to be talented. It is even better to be lucky, but in the end the one thing that we can control is ourselves. And that means that we can control how hard we work. We can outwork the others by taking that extra step.

I am not sure that the big guy followed all of this. In fact I am sure that some of this went over his head, but that is ok. It is a good life lesson and if this helps it sink in than I am happy.

Share a Blogging Tip Sunday- Err Monday

Here is a feature that we started last week. The idea is that this is a post in which you are invited to share tips/suggestions that your fellow bloggers can use to improve their blogs.

The floor is open.

A Confession

I don't like going to see the dentist. That is not unusual. Not really all that different from many people I know, but then again it is my mouth and not theirs. And now I am stuck with an unexpected visit.

Last year I had the ignominious pleasure of breaking a tooth. Doc says that it could have been for any number of reasons. Truth is that I don't really care all that much why. It happened. One moment I was chewing and then the next there was a strange object in my mouth. I spit it out and voila, a piece of porcelain had decided to go AWOL.

The good doctor fixed me up with a nice crown. Such a nice euphemism, crown that is. Problem is that crowns cost a small fortune but you can't really sell them to anyone. If you are running short on cash you can't hock them. If Guido the killer pimp decides to collect the cash he is losing because you ran off with his best girl you are still stuck. Oy, Risky Business reference just made me realize that I am getting older.

Anyhoo, the point is that this morning the crown I received last year jumped ship. So now I get to go visit the good doctor yet another time and ask to have this thing recemented. I am overjoyed at the prospect of this. That thumping you feel is the shock wave emanating from the joyous African Ant eater dance I am doing now. Fifty points to whomever identifies that pop culture reference.

Have you taken a look at Haveil Havalim? You really should. Click here.

"Interesting" Lullaby Music For Baby

I recently stumbled onto Baby Rock Records. These guys have taken various rock tunes and turned them into lullabys for children. Now I consider myself to be pretty progressive but I admit to being somewhat surprised to find artists such as Nine Inch Nails, Kiss, Nirvana and Metallica among the offerings.

Look at the lyrics for Hurt:

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

I don't know about you, but it just strikes me as being a little off for a lullaby. Although I have to admit that they have taken it to a different place. I Was Made For Lovin You by Kiss is actually kind of fun.

Maybe playing I Want To Be Sedated by The Ramones will make your baby cooler. I don't know. What I can say is that since they offer the Stones I was disappointed not to see Gimme Shelter, that song just rocks.

Haveil Havalim- The Plain Edition

Who would have ever thunk a drive-in in Buffalo would be the headquarters for the 117th edition of Haveil Havalim. I suppose that using a drive-in dates me. It is probably a good 15 years since I last went to a movie at a drive-in.

Of course some of you come from homes in which you have never been to a movie in a theater let alone a private car or truck. They were fun, drive-in's that is. So maybe we should switch modes and move to something a little more modern such as this little doohickey below.

Go out and buy more Ipods. It will help keep Apple stock up and in turn you'll help keep a smile on Avrech's face, not to mention the good old Psycho Toddler who only recently joined the rest of us in using 21st century devices. ;) Anyway, you'll have to put up with one more comment or two from me. This is approximately the seventh time that I have hosted Haveil Havalim. I have never seen as big a response as I did this time. I easily received more than 130 submissions. Of course some of you sent me seven or eight submissions from your own blog. My apologies for not being able to use all of them.

One more special request. It would be greatly appreciated if you could link to this post on your blogs. The more exposure that HH receives the better.

And now on to our carnival. My apologies if it is not organized as well as it could be, it was a busy week.

World

Simply Jews blogged about the Iranian arrest of a US citizen. Liorah writes that Pakistan may ignite a war. Jihadists continue to use technology to promote their cause. At Jihad Watch there is a discussion about The Islamist's War. Yid With Lid says The Muslim American Society Promotes Terror. Welcome To American Idol "Jihad Edition."

Over at Slightly Mad there is a list of fine restaurants to eat at. Fiery Spirited Zionist has an opinon on Why "palestine" should never come into existence. Solomonia reports Mubarak: Hamas will never sign a peace agreement with Israel.

According to Israel Matzav Arab countries despair seethe over 'Palestinians'. Carl also offered Gaza 'Palestinians' pray for 'occupation'. The Augean Stables offers As Palestinians Self-Destruct, They Blame Israel.

Over at Yoni The Blogger we learn that: U.S. Aired Nasrallah Speech Because No One Knew Arabic.

Dag shares memories of the Six Day war. Daled Amos shares 3 SOLDIERS FROM THE FAMOUS 6 DAY WAR PHOTO SPEAK. Sadly, no surprise here: Syria claims Eli Cohen's grave is 'inaccessible'.

Judaism

Jerusalem Joe offers Why Women Are Exempt From Prayer In Judaism – A Jungian Explanation. Meryl received an email asking for help locating lost relatives. Chana needs the bracha for Mentos. Back of The Hill says Spoken Of In Daniel. Over at a Simple Jew there is a Guest Posting By Chabakuk Elisha - "Heimishe" Racism.

Drew Kaplan covered White Days. A Mother in Israel provided Tzniut/Modesty roundup--Lots of links.

Rabbi Sedley offers 29th Iyar - Tefillat HaShlah. RWAC discussed Platonic Relationships. Jerusalem Joe asks Is Your Jewish Mother A Maximizer, and What Can You Do About It?

What do you think: Har Ha-Bayit - yea or nay today?

TG discussed being an Informed Jew. Over at Frum Satire we learned that Fish a nightmare for the cholent fan. It is not a date without Funny Shidduch Stories.

Wolfish Musings asks What, Exactly, Is Expected Of Us? Ezzie provided a post on Jewish Economics. Did you know that everyone is a prophet these days.

Planck's Constant offered Shavuot and a world without Jews. DovBear wrote about Arousal. What do you know about chalitza and chultza?

Over at Daf Notes you can find ONE THOUSANDTH POST - HEAVENLY VOICES - YEVAMOS 14 and Daf Yomi - Yevamos 15 - NEW RULINGS REGARDING A MIKVAH AND ERUV.

At Crossing the Rubicon you can read about Torah Portions and Nostalgia. Steg wonders Do I Need An Image-Adjustment? Over at My Obiter Dicta we found Ignorance and Hillul HaShem.

Gil Student adds his two cents to The Problem with Education Today.

Israel

Jerusalem for Every Jew is the title of a post at Frumhouse. Simply Jews blogged about "family relationships" with My brother, my enemy. Over at Oleh Musings you can find A Few Musings, Occasioned by Rockets. Guide To The Perplexed blogged about Ali Abunimah's One Country.

Video of Jewish Children Running to Bomb Shelter During Attack Smooth covered Yom Yerushalayim - Jerusalem Day as did Treppenwitz and the Seawitch. Tsimcha.com covered it too with Yom Yerushalaim: A SECOND MATAN TORAH!

Esser Agaroth observed A Little Divine Displeasure Perhaps? At Freedom's Choice you can find If I Forget Thee… A Very Personal Recollection. Miriam wonders if anyone remembers going to Israel with NCSY in '1975?

Am Echad asks Why were "Messianic Jews" marching in Jerusalem?

Akiva has some heartbreaking posts about the situation in Sderot here, here and here. Boker Tov Boulder blogged about the terrorist handbook. One Jerusalem has more about Sderot here. Meryl has her own round up about Sderot here. Joshuapundit blogged about this as well as did Aussie Dave and Yid With Lid. Rafi has his own thoughts and so does Joe Settler.

ISL presents Peter Principle Becomes Law of the Land in Israel. Sometimes a response is required as in Striking Back. Israpundit proffered Sderot-the next Yamit.

Seraphic Secret blogged about Fourth Generation Warfare. The Spine discussed Palestinian Unity. That leads us straight to Gaza Civil War Watch: 40 Dead in Factional Fighting. Or should we say Statehood Please.

Have you ever seen a tankless parade. I enjoyed reading about The Dancing Man. Backspin provided Understanding the Six Day War. Rafi went on an adventure.

Caught: One would-be assassin from Doctors Without Borders read all about it at BokerTov Boulder.

Have you ever been to Hamas Kindergarten. Elder of Ziyon presented The death of Oslo. Perhaps it is time to think about Life after the PA. Shiloh Musings says Hesder, the "Arrangement" is "cracking".

And sometimes there are those One of those great, "only in Israel" experiences. Then again we have stories about drivers swerving around an injured motorcyclist. At the Muqata More Only in Israel...a picture.

Carl reminds us that Israel has more than one leader sleeping at the wheel and he asks Are Goldwasser and Regev dead? Yo Yenta is blogging about Oil Insanity.

This headline caught my eye: Holy stinky washing machine batman!

Over at Not a Fish we find: Best way to deal with British promoters of anti-Israel boycott… - Updated"

Politics

Cross Currents wishes that we Had More Harry Trumans. Over at Daled Amos The Media Has Spoken The C Word. One of these days I am going to have tune into that new show Lifestyles of The Rich and Terrorist.

MyRightWord wonders, if the Hamas are described as having a "military" wing, their wingers are still termed "militants"? Omri provided "International Boycott" Of Palestinians Actually Meant "Triple The Amount Of Aid". Of Course It Did.

Judith found the last edition of HH to be incredibly geeky. Let's hope that she like this one better. Here is the speech that George W. Bush should have given care of Kesher Talk. Some people question Yahoo!'s actions in removing a site.

Miscellaneous

The Waffle King wonders what comic book characters Jblogosphere denizens would be. Ra'anana Ramblings is cruising down Memory Lane.

Over at EllieTalk she wonders about the Deadliest Catch. This is not about boy bands. It is about Old kids on the block.

A Bisele Babka wants to know Who is Coming for Lunch. AbbaGav is on a half hiatus. Soccer Dad met the JIBs with Jabs.

Rav Fleischmann proclaims. I Love The Smell Of Blogging In The Morning. I wonder what that smells like.

Raggedy Mom is turning into her mother. You must read Aaron: Two Years Gone and The Book of Ben. Mottel discusses how people see others. You know Everyone Needs Therapy.

And now for poetry. My Life In Haiku.

How many people missed out on the Great Blogger Bash of '07. Irina covered her summer plans. I don't know about you but I miss having summers in which I could make summer plans.

Elisson wrote about the Combover Hassidim. Congratulate Ocean Guy on his blogiversary here.

Nobody Irons like Grandma. Jewish Atheist discussed Pleasure vs. Happiness.

And now I present the Milton Friedman Choir - The Corporation. What about Hot Guys- Frum v Non-frum.

Everyone should have this kind of love for their spouse, Robert: Not Too Normal.

What Makes a Mentch. Shoshana covered the story of an Israeli woman and the WNBA. Miss Worldwide had a close encounter of the Blogger Kind.

Pearl offers A Shout-Out to Blogland. KCC #18 is live.

A Whispering Soul is still MIA. Call me crazy but I think that he still might come back, or maybe he has under a new name. Looking for new digs try checking out Schvach.

And thus ends this edition of Haveil Havalim. As always credit for starting this goes to Soccer Dad.

Esser Agaroth will be hosting the next edition. Thanks again for playing.

P.S. This may be updated throughout the day so don't be afraid to check back in.

Haveil Havalim Announcement For Jameel

Hey Waffle Man, is this better. ;)

To all others, HH will be up momentarily. We are having a few technical difficulties with it.

Thanks,

The management.

Superman Retires

Haveil Havalim Is Coming

Two Words for The Day

agenbite of inwit

the remorse of conscience

and

schlimmbesserung

[G.] making something worse through an attempt to make things better

Was Osama Right?

Bernard Lewis has an interesting essay here. Two sections for your digestion:

"During the Cold War, two things came to be known and generally recognized in the Middle East concerning the two rival superpowers. If you did anything to annoy the Russians, punishment would be swift and dire. If you said or did anything against the Americans, not only would there be no punishment; there might even be some possibility of reward, as the usual anxious procession of diplomats and politicians, journalists and scholars and miscellaneous others came with their usual pleading inquiries: "What have we done to offend you? What can we do to put it right?"

A few examples may suffice. During the troubles in Lebanon in the 1970s and '80s, there were many attacks on American installations and individuals--notably the attack on the Marine barracks in Beirut in 1983, followed by a prompt withdrawal, and a whole series of kidnappings of Americans, both official and private, as well as of Europeans. There was only one attack on Soviet citizens, when one diplomat was killed and several others kidnapped. The Soviet response through their local agents was swift, and directed against the family of the leader of the kidnappers. The kidnapped Russians were promptly released, and after that there were no attacks on Soviet citizens or installations throughout the period of the Lebanese troubles.

These different responses evoked different treatment. While American policies, institutions and individuals were subject to unremitting criticism and sometimes deadly attack, the Soviets were immune. Their retention of the vast, largely Muslim colonial empire accumulated by the czars in Asia passed unnoticed, as did their propaganda and sometimes action against Muslim beliefs and institutions."

The second excerpt begins below:

"Now the situation had changed. The more immediate, more dangerous enemy was the Soviet Union, already ruling a number of Muslim countries, and daily increasing its influence and presence in others. It was therefore natural to seek and accept American help. As Osama bin Laden explained, in this final phase of the millennial struggle, the world of the unbelievers was divided between two superpowers. The first task was to deal with the more deadly and more dangerous of the two, the Soviet Union. After that, dealing with the pampered and degenerate Americans would be easy.

We in the Western world see the defeat and collapse of the Soviet Union as a Western, more specifically an American, victory in the Cold War. For Osama bin Laden and his followers, it was a Muslim victory in a jihad, and, given the circumstances, this perception does not lack plausibility."

Africa Burns and No one Cares

HT: Treppenwitz

PSA- Beis-melech Ha Wafleem!

Ladies and gentlemen we have good news. Back of The Hill is going to serve a key role at Jameel's Waffle House. Here is the money quote:

Dude, what you really need for the waffle-house is someone who is equidistant between a Belgian and a Jew. Someone who can swim semi-comfortably among both types of fish.
I know of only one such.

Yes! What a bargain! What a deal! The Back of the Hill is ‘volunteering’ for occasional oversight duty at Beis-melech Ha Wafleem!
Don’t know when or if I’ll ever get there, but the idea of a waffle-hut in the Shomron appeals immensely.

Now, make that waffle palace happen. Open up a big mega-wide trailer near a main road, with a multi-burner range and several waffle-irons. Long live the Belgian comestible revolution!"

This is Not a Spam Blog

Approximately two weeks ago I noticed a new setting in blogger. Each time I create a new post I have to utilize the word verification setting prior to posting. The first time it happened I was mildly irked, but I figured that it was to prevent spam blogs so I just shrugged my shoulders and went with it.

Anyhoo, this morning I finally decided to see if there is a way to remove the setting. Apparently this requires asking someone from Blogger to do a visual inspection of the blog to confirm that it is not a spam blog. Once they do that they will remove the setting.

That is all fine and good until I go off on another blogging tear at which point I am sure they will reinstate it and we'll go through the whole process again.

Comfort Food

The LA Times has a nice write up on an old favorite of mine called The Apple Pan. Here is a section that gives a short overview of it.

IN the shadow of the Westside Pavilion in West L.A. stands a tiny building that houses a world. People come there for burgers and pie, and they keep coming back because something about the place is magnetic. They can't stay away.

The people who work there keep coming back too. Decade after decade, you see the same faces. The lunchtime sandwich cook, Charles Collins, has worked at the Apple Pan for 50 years. The owner, Martha Gamble, was the first waitress when her parents opened the place in 1947.

In all this time the Apple Pan has served an unchanged menu of distinctive burgers, sandwiches and pies. One regular customer estimates that he has eaten, at minimum, 1,000 steakburgers over the years.

The regulars probably aren't surprised that the Apple Pan has turned 60. It's been part of their lives since the corner of Pico and Westwood boulevards was best known as the site of California's first drive-in theater.

What's the deal about this place? Looks won't tell you much. Inside the small white building with green trim and a sign reading "The Apple Pan Quality Forever," there's no décor but plaid wallpaper and some much-lacquered wood paneling. Twenty-six stools line a U-shaped counter with a brick-walled grill area in the middle.
Taking sides

THE moment you enter, you sense an obscure protocol in force. The room is divided into right and left sides, each with its own waiter, cash register and coffee urn. Regulars habitually sit on a favorite side, even when a stool becomes available on the other.

Why? "They're used to a particular waiter," Collins suggested.

"I don't think about it," said a young woman who didn't want to give her name. "It's like what side of the bed you prefer to sleep on."

When people have to wait for a seat, there's no room for a real line to form. Still, they yield to one another in strict order of arrival, like drivers at a four-way intersection.

At lunch, you need to place your order briskly because the waiters will be hopping from one urgent task to another. Dinner is less crowded and more leisurely.

There's a homey Midwestern quality about the place. If you don't feel like a soda, you can ask for buttermilk. Actual cream comes with your coffee. All the recipes are family recipes, and the back of the menu tells you where the originator of each was born, whether in Ohio, Missouri or Nebraska.

The burger arrives without a plate. It's wrapped in paper, shoved in a bag and slapped down in front of you on its side, with an edible edge peeking skyward.

Have You Ever Noticed?

Have you ever noticed that a group of men singing never sound bad. Consider this for a moment. Ten men singing individually. Each one of them has a voice that could only be loved by an alley cat or someone who is deaf.

However, if you place them together and have them all sing something happens. Suddenly their voices merge and the horrible shrieking is replaced by something different. It is replaced by something that sounds decent. It might not be great, but it is not so horrid that you feel the need to poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick.

What do you think?

Wednesday Night Ramblings

Just finished watching LOST. Some of my pals bailed out on this a while back as they thought that the story meandered far too much. I have no doubt that the writers were operating off of MSU for a while but they seem to have gotten their act together. I'll hang in there long enough to finish it.

Can't say that I am sorry to see the JIBs end. I am tired of the campaigning and carping. Some bloggers need to grow up and find some other interests. Although I suspect that for some people it is going to be a traumatic finish. If you are a second rate hack with a limited vocabulary and the mental capacity of lobotomized llama you might be in trouble. Without the JIBs you are going to really have to tax the old melon to come up with new cartoons. The thing with satire is that it needs to be funny.

It certainly is possible to be stupid and funny. Stupid funny can be worth a chuckle. The problem is that you are just stupid. Then again when you parade dumb ideas in front of two or three sycophants you probably haven't realized just how many people are laughing at you and not with you. Or maybe that is the problem. Maybe the burning anger and insecurity comes from the fear that everyone realizes just how little substance there is behind the shower curtain you hide behind.

I finally watched Casino Royale. It was much better than I expected. I should have seen it on a big screen but just never managed to get around to it.

In other blogging news I am still collecting posts for the upcoming edition of Haveil Havalim. It has been a busy week so I haven't had as much time to work on this as I normally do. As always I encourage you to send your posts in. Haveil Havalim is the official carnival of the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere.

There is no better way to increase your exposure than to take advantage of it. Remember it is a low calorie, contains no trans fats and is high in fiber.

The last five songs on my iTunes:

Arabian Knights
Siouxsie and the Banshees
Sour Girl
Stone Temple Pilots
Midnight Rider
Allman Brothers
Comfortably Numb
Pink Floyd
Hotel California
The Eagles

Back in my college days you could frequently find the boys and I at the local pub. They had a balcony overlooking a swimming pool. During the spring it was one of our favorite haunts. We'd get a few pitchers of beer, enjoy the view and engage in spontaneous karaoke. Ok, karaoke is not really a good description, it was more like spontaneous singing.

More in the next post.

It Is Ok To Have Sex With Animals In Norway & Denmark

File this under the bizarre. Where do they think they are, some small town in Australia.

Neither Denmark nor Norway has a prohibition on sex with animals, as long as the animals do not suffer.

On the Internet Danish animal owners advertise openly that they offer sex with animals, without intervention from police or other authorities, Danish newspaper 24timer reports.

In correspondence with the animal owners, the newspaper was told that the animals involved have many years of experience and that the animals themselves wanted sex. The cost to the client varied from DKK 500-1,000 (USD 85-170).

Legal gray area
The Norwegian Food Safety Authority's section chief for animal welfare, Torunn Knævelsrud, could not rule out that such a bordello could be legal here as well.

"It is difficult to say yes or no," Knævelsrud told Aftenposten.no.

As long as basics like shelter, feed and care are in place, and injury or suffering to the animal can not be documented, there are no other ways to attack an animal bordello under existing Norwegian law.

For the full story please click here.

Hamas Official: World, Israel, Arabs To Blame For Fighting

When you can't take responsibility for your own actions you can always find someone else to blame. This speaks volumes.

The international community, Israel and Arab countries are to blame for the current inter-Palestinian fighting in the Gaza Strip for failing to life an economic siege on the Palestinians, a senior Hamas official said Wednesday.

The remarks by Moussa Abu Marzouk, deputy head of Hamas' political bureau, came as fighting renewed between Hamas and Fatah in Gaza early Wednesday when Hamas gunmen stormed the home of a top Fatah official in Gaza City, killing five bodyguards inside, Palestinian security officials said.

The attack comes after a brutal day of factional fighting between Hamas and Fatah rivals in Gaza that killed 15 people. Four days of intense Palestinian infighting in Gaza have killed 41 people.

"The international community and Arab countries shoulder part of the responsibility for the current events due to their attitudes toward the national unity government," Abu Marzouk said in Damascus.

"The continued financial and political siege has pushed matters to this simmering tension," he said. He also blamed Israel and Arab apathy toward the economic sanctions for the fighting.

"The Israelis are behind all these events," Abu Marzouk said. "It's illogical that the Arabs stand idle watching the Palestinian arena while it's on the verge of explosion under the siege...this is a constant pressure that has led to a real explosion."

Liveblogging Breakfast With The Shmata Queen

After the first two episodes of this series I received a number of requests to share more sessions. So in response to those requests I decided to live blog a recent breakfast. You might be surprised to learn that the dear old Shmata Queen is not always a bundle of joy in the morning.

SQ: Take that %$#*&*((( laptop off of the ^$%&%#&U* table.
Me: Or what?

SQ: You know what.
Me: Is that a question or a statement.

SQ: Grumble, grumble. These silly jokes are growing old quickly.
Me: I know someone who is growing with them.

SQ: &*^$*^((%% the damn laptop..
Me: Note to self, when she first wakes up she can be irritable..

SQ: I am waiting.
Me: So are most of the people we know. The big question is what are they waiting for. Moshiach, the next big sale at Macys, culture to hit cleveland.

SQ: Must you always insult cleveland.
Me: You know Ezzie said that clevelanders are cursed.

SQ: He didn't mean it like that.
Me: Sure he did. Ezzie is a man of his word.

SQ: He was being facetious.
Me: You do know that in Old English facetious means telling the truth.

SQ: Stop typing.
Me : When did you get to be so bossy

I think that you get the general idea. That is enough nonsense for now. Perhaps we'll share some more later.

Sail Around The world

"I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will. (only once)

When you see the Southern Cross for the first time
You understand now why you came this way.
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small.
But it's as big as the promise - The promise of a comin' day.

So I'm sailing for tomorrow - My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you - Tied with a silver chain.

I have my ship and all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left - And music is her name."
Southern Cross- Crosby, Stills, Nash (and Young)

I love the sea, always have. One of the great joys of growing up in Los Angeles is that the ocean has always been close. It is a source of fascination and comfort to me.

I love to walk barefoot in the surf, to feel it pull on my legs. And as goofy as it sounds, I have always felt it call. My inner geek wants to make a Tolkien reference. If you have spent any time reading his works you know that the Elves always make a trip across the sea. You know that they eventually would go to see Cirdan and begin a new adventure.

In my heart I have felt the urge to get on a ship and sail off into parts unknown. There is something so intriguing about just getting up and going. Every now and then I have had this impulse to just pack up and go, kind of like the guy in Springsteen's Hungry Heart.

Whenever I have dreamt about it I have always pictured myself on some tall ship like the one in the picture above. The work is hard, but fulfilling and I find myself on these incredible adventures throughout the world.

I have been fortunate enough to have friends who sail and this has allowed me to engage in moments of fancy. There is something beautiful and awe inspiring about being out at sea at night. You look around you and there is no sign of land, no sign of the civilization you left behind. It is an endless ocean all around you. The ship rocks gently beneath a starry sky and for a moment in time you experience something special.

Sometimes I dream about it...........

This was originally posted here. Been thinking a lot about the sea so I decided to run it again.

Why We Fight

Been visited by all sorts of trolls lately. You want to know why we fight. You want to know what makes us so tough is because we see what happens when we roll over and do nothing. We know that while the world may be full of good people, ultimately evil exists.

So we force ourselves to be painfully shocked out of sweet dreams so that we remember why we need maintain an iron will.

This doesn't get any easier to watch. Take a deep breath and pray.

Pro-Israel Group Fights in D.C.

This is a follow up to this post.

The subway system in America's capital city is set to be the scene of a poster campaign war between a pro-Palestinian organization seeking to harm Israel's image and a pro-Israel group which has decided to fight back.

Last month, the 'US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation' (ETO) placed 20 poster ads showing "an imposing tank pointing its main firing turret at a child with a schoolbag walking along a dirt road," the Canadian Jewish News (CJN) reported.

"'Imagine if this were your child's path to school. Palestinians don't have to imagine,' the poster states, before continuing to call for an end to US aid for 'Israel's brutal military occupation… paid for by US taxpayers like you,'" the report added.

But a response to the anti-Israel campaign was not long in coming, after the Los Angeles-based StandWithUs (SWU) decided to launch its own pro-Israel poster ads.

For the full story please click here.

Soccer Dad Jabs The JIBs

It is a worthwhile post.

A Video And Some Links

Top 10 Amazing Facts About Your Heart
Monster Waves

And information a BBC report on Elephant semen collection.

It is Volcano Awareness Month

A useful safety tip from the management. Click here for more.

More fun With Telemarketers- Tom Mabe

Haveil Havalim- The Next Edition

Just a quick reminder that I am hosting the next edition of Haveil Havalim. Don't forget to submit your posts through Blog Carnival.

Any questions? Leave them in the comments field.

A Six Year Old Wonders

In the middle of dinner my son tells me that he has a question. He wants to know something about dogs. After a brief pause and a sip of water he says:

"Dad, when people go to the bathroom we have to wipe our tushies, but I have never seen a dog wipe his butt. Why don't they use toilet paper?"

Being the good kindly old man I am, I immediately sighed with relief. It wasn't that hard a question to answer. All I need to do is provide a simple, logical answer why a dog doesn't need to wipe his ass. And then I realized that I didn't know the answer. For a moment I surveyed the room to see if there was a good resource to use to answer the question.

On the bookshelf across the way I noticed a Star Wars book and immediately became fixated upon it. Or should I say that I immediately wondered about Chewbacca and Wookie bathroom habits. Kind of an odd thought and a strange juxtaposition, but sometimes you just have to go with where life takes you.

So I told the big boy that I wasn't exactly sure, but that we could research it together. Due to an impending bedtime the research was put off but I know that within the next day or two the question will resurface. I think that it is time to call the vet or resort to making some stupid joke about how dogs use cats.

Holocaust survivor refuses to meet son

BEACHWOOD, Ohio - The letter brought a bittersweet end to Sol Factor’s 17-year search for his mother, a Holocaust survivor who disappeared in the aftermath of World War II:”We regret to inform you that we located the above mentioned person, but she would not like to be contacted by the inquirer,” reads the message from Magen David Adom, the Israeli counterpart of the American Red Cross

Factor, who had found clues to his past with the help of the Red Cross and a vast archive of Nazi records, knows only that his mother, now 83 years old, is living in Israel.

“Of course I’m disappointed because one likes searches like this to end with happy reunions,” he said in an interview in his home in this Cleveland suburb.

“There’s a sense of actual relief too, because now some of the mystery has been solved,” he said.

Factor, 60, was born Meier Pollak in Munich, Germany, in 1946 to Romanian-born Rosa Pollak, also spelled Polak. He has found documents showing that Rosa Pollak and her newborn son were discharged from a maternity hospital on July 9, 1946, and soon after went to a United Nations-sponsored hospital for refugees in Munich. Within days they became separated.

Factor was adopted in 1950 by an American couple in Belmont, Mass., and began looking for his biological mother in earnest in 1990.

For the full story please click here.

Where I Go For Breakfast

I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk

You Too can Eat at Jameel's.

Video of Children Running to Bomb Shelter During Attack

Video of Children Running to Bomb Shelter During Attack

Censorship At YouTube

Carl has got a post about some of the challenges of posting videos at YouTube.

Muslims on YouTube have formed several groups where users and videos that criticize Islam (which they define as "Hate Speech") are listed and mass-flagged as abuse. YouTube seems to remove videos and sometimes even ban users automatically. Muslims claim that they only flag videos that have violated YouTube's TOS, but this has been been proven false.

For the full story please click here.

Share a Blogging Tip Sunday

Hi Folks,

We're starting a new feature here at the Shack. This is your opportunity to share a blogging tip with the readers and your fellow bloggers. It can be any sort of tip you like. For example you can provide the HTML code for drop down menus, thoughts on how to build a blog etc.

The floor is now open for your comments.

What I Wear With My Webcam

If you want one of these you can grab it here.

Blogging Etiquette- Derech Eretz

It is a late night here at the Shack so this could be a little more convoluted than I'd like. But then again this blog is more of a place for stream of consciousness than a George Will essay or maybe I should really say Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emerson is a personal favorite. I have always enjoyed his essay on Self Reliance.

One of my favorite lines is "No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature." If you are interested the sections I cited here caught my eye as well. But we'll get back to that at a later date.

Blogging is an exercise that involves a number of components. You have a topic, a writer and readers who comment on the posts produced by the writer. Sometimes the nature of the topic is such that it engenders very strong feelings in those who read it. That in turn can sometimes lead to acrimonious debate within the comments.

It is good to have a healthy debate. It is worthwhile to challenge yourself and see if you can provide an adequate defense of your position. In theory you should strive to do this solely based upon facts and not based upon emotion. Derech Eretz is the term one of my teachers used to use in reference to having a polite debate.

I can remember more than one debate in class in which he would pepper the discussion with reminders that we were all human and the importance of Derech Eretz. It was a worthwhile reminder and a good lesson.

That is something that that the blogosphere is missing. I have wondered more than once how many people would be willing to say face to face what they type to others.

Within my own blog I have rather simple rules. In general I don't do much moderating. Given a chance most people are pretty good about self-editing. It is not unusual for someone to post a strong response and come back and edit it.

Here is a basic rundown on how I moderate the discussions. Advertisements that are not cleared with the management are nuked. Threads that are hijacked and controlled without approval are subject to moderation. Beyond that everything else is simply subject to the whims of Shack Management.

Truth is that I update this so frequently it is unusual for battles to rage very long at all. I'd write more but the hour really has drawn late and I am tired. Perhaps I'll continue this at a later time.

Gun Control

Update I thought that this post deserved some more time at the top.

In the wake of the VA Tech massacre there have been any number of pundits discussing the pros and cons of concealed weapons as well as stricter gun laws. A few quick comments about this.

Let's take a look at a potential scenario. More states approve concealed weapons legislature. So now provided that you pass the background check you can start packing heat. My question is how many more people would start carrying guns upon their person. Would it really make that much of a difference.

I know an awful lot of people who have guns at home and or carry guns in their automobiles. Most of them are not part of law enforcement. They have these guns for protecting themselves and their families.

The point is that I am not convinced that we would see a tremendous increase in the number of armed people walking around. Perhaps more would get licensed but the question is how many of those people are not currently packing heat.

Don't get me wrong, I am not arguing against owning a gun. I just don't completely buy into the theory that easier access to concealed weapon permits will make that much of a difference.

If you are placed in a situation in which you need a gun there are always going to be some fundamental issues tied into it. The primary one is how fast can you get to your gun. If you're at the ATM and someone sticks a gun in your back it is not going to matter whether you have a gun on you or not. If they get the drop on you, well now you're stuck.

Again, this really isn't an anti-gun argument. I don't have a problem with people owning firearms, provided that they maintain safe and proper procedure with them.

Just my two cents.

Journey- Don't Stop Believing

Come sing with Peter

Mr. T's Mother Day Video & Friends

Ever wonder what happened Mr. T? Well here is a collection of some of his old stuff as well as a few new bits. I apologize in advance for the pain his singing causes.

Here is what happens to B-list celebrities:

And here is Mr. T. before he became a caricature of himself.

A Quick Round Up Of Recent Posts

I am going to be signing off for a while. Here is some material to keep you occupied until my return.

Gun Control

Teddy Roosevelt Quotes

The Last Word

What Is Your Favorite Blog Name?

Reasons Why I Am Not A Pulpit Rabbi

And your blast from the past

Faith Versus Science

Another Meme- 7 Things

Teddy Roosevelt Quotes

Quotes are pulled from here:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Teddy Roosevelt "Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

"Don't hit at all if you can help it; don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep."
New York City, February 17, 1899

"There are good men and bad men of all nationalities, creeds and colors; and if this world of ours is ever to become what we hope some day it may become, it must be by the general recognition that the man's heart and soul, the man's worth and actions, determine his standing."
Letter, Oyster Bay, NY, September 1, 1903

Glenn Beck's Muddled Mumblings

CNN's Glenn Beck has managed to place himself in quite a position. Here is an excerpt from one of his shows:

"Now, I have said on this program, "I would not vote for Joe Lieberman as president of the United States." I think Joe Lieberman knows how to fight this war. I think Joe Lieberman really gets it. However, even if I didn't disagree with him on so many social issues, I wouldn't vote for Joe Lieberman at this time because of the complications it would add in this country or on the planet right now because of the way the Middle East would use it. That's not saying the same thing as I wouldn't vote for a Jew for president. And yet, people can get away with that."

I don't know think that Beck has thought this through. He says that the only reason that he wouldn't vote for Joe Lieberman is because of how the Middle East would use it. How do you say that and claim that it has nothing to do with his religion.

If he would have limited it to saying that he disagreed with his policies there wouldn't be an issue. Even if I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that I don't think that he is making a bigoted statement, well he is.

The reason he says that he cannot vote for him is because of his faith. So this begs the question of what to do about it.

It Wasn't The Best Disguise

With a headline like this I couldn't pass this up.

Man with panties on face attempts to rob W.Va. store

INWOOD, W.Va. (AP) — A thief covered his face with a pair of blue women’s underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said.

“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried,” State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.The cashier at first thought it was a joke and refused to give the man any money, so he ran to a Jeep Cherokee and drove away at about 4 a.m. Wednesday, Kearns said.

For the full story click here.

Overpaying For The General Lee

The winning bidder, William Fisher, maintained that someone else placed the bids in his name after gaining access to his eBay account.

"Of course I have no plans to pay, because I didn't place the bid," an individual claiming to be Fisher wrote Thursday in an e-mail to CNNMoney.com. "I just want this to all blow over, which I'm sure it will."

John Schneider, who played Bo Duke in the series and owns the car - called the General Lee on the show - told CNNMoney.com he had been in contact with Fisher and was aware of his claims.

When informed of Fisher's claims by CNNMoney.com, an EBay spokeswoman said she was unaware of Fisher's account being hacked. She said eBay would investigate the matter further.

During the course of the auction last week, eBay officials disqualified several bids and went so far as to contact several of the top bidders to verify their offers, an eBay spokeswoman had said earlier.

A winning bid on eBay constitutes a legally binding contract, according to a company spokesperson, although company policy allows Schneider to approach the second-highest bidder about purchasing the vehicle.

Schneider told CNNMoney.com Thursday afternoon he is considering putting his car back up for sale on eBay, but said this time bidders would be pre-qualified before the bidding started.

The vehicle is a modified Charger that appeared as the General Lee in the TV show, a role that was only slightly less central than that of the car.

The car has been further modified since and now has a 725 horsepower Hemi motor, Dodge Viper brakes and a roll cage, all of which allow it to race at more than 200 miles per hour.

I can't imagine a car like that would be worth $10 million dollars.

Batman Has a Lisp

They Stole My Idea For a Dance Video

What If The Beatles Were Indian

Dick Tracy Never Had It So Good

Imagine what it would be like if you could view your favorite full-length film while in the comfort of your office chair, riding on the train, waiting at the doctor's office, or even while waiting in line at the coffee shop! Your colleagues will want to share the headphones with you on your next plane ride. Your friends and family will be eager to spend time with you so they can catch a glimpse of the coolest watch on the market: The Home Theater Watch.

Just like the name suggests, The Home Theater Watch is designed to give you the experience of a home theater with the functionality of a watch. This means that you can tell time and watch your favorite movie right from your very own wrist. Complete strangers will be in awe as they stand in line with complete boredom at the Department of Motor Vehicles and you are watching the latest releases on your wrist.

It is an interesting idea but I would think that the screen size is prohibitive.

Do You Know Anything About Camcorders?

I am going to try and utilize the wisdom of the crowds. I have a seven year-old Sony camcorder that still works.

However, I would like to upgrade to a smaller model that uses digital technology. So I am curious to see if anyone has any opinions/suggestions to make about a new camcorder.

Ideally I think that I am looking for one that records onto a DVD or is easily transferred to a DVD. Beyond that it would be nice to have one that doesn't weigh 10 pounds and has a decent zoom on it.

The floor is now open. I look forward to reading your replies.

A Question For PsychoToddler

It occurs to me that you have been blogging for so long now the psycho toddler is ready for her bat mitzvah. Does this mean that it is time to change the name of your blog. ;)

Five Games You Need To Play To Live Well

This is worth a read. Five Games You Need To Play To Live Well

Most Prolific Blogger

I received an email from a reader which asked me if I knew of other bloggers who are more prolific than I am in posting content.

Off the top of my head I would list the following blogs as being pretty darn prolific:

Israellycool
Israel Matzav
Smooth Stone
Yourish

This is an incomplete list, but there you have it.

Axis of Evil

Hat Tip: A Little Indulgence

Mature Content- Naughty Stick People

I debated about posting this. Since this is a family blog I decided to give you the link to Naughty Stick People.

Public Toilet

Did they run out of material.

Harry Potter & Star Wars

I found this script at Neatorama and it caught my eye. Apparently they found it at Say No To Crack. Take a gander and tell me what you think.

The Last Word

One of the benefits of growing older is the ability to set aside the ego and engage in introspection. Here at the keyboard I have shared many of my thoughts about life. I have written about some of my fears and really provided some insight into who I am.

So here is a little bit more about me. I like to get the last word in. I suppose that I always have. Some of it can be attributed to my competitive nature. Who doesn't want to have the last word. Who doesn't want to try and always be right.

The reality is that sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we do things that are less than admirable. It is one of the on going discussions I have with my children. I encourage them to try many things and to not be afraid to make mistakes. There is nothing wrong with making a mistake. The question is whether you learn from your mistakes.

I don't fear making mistakes. Sure, I don't like being embarrassed. Who does. But it is something that comes with life. Sometimes you do fall down. Sometimes when you trip you do more than stub your toe. Things happen.

As I mentioned above the real question is what you do afterwards. In general I have learned to spend a little time considering what happened and why. Sometimes it goes against my nature. In general I want to respond quickly. Yet, experience has taught me that the tired cliche look before you leap has plenty of merit.

Life is like a chess game. One move leads to another and then another. You have to remember to consider more than the straight lines because some things come at you from strange angles.

So I take a deep breath and remember that getting the last word isn't always about an immediate response. Sometimes the best play is the one that is least expected. And that is why on this day you can find me watching and waiting for my next opening because it will present itself.

What Is Your Favorite Blog Name?

Simple question folks. In your time surfing the net you have seen many different blogs. Of all the blogs you have stumbled across, which one had the best name?

Peretz- This Time We Have A Plan

Chalk this up to things you don't want to hear your defense minister say:

“We are prepared for a war in Gaza more than we were in the Second Lebanon War,” Peretz said over the weekend. “There is a plan.”

Something tells me that Letterman would have a field day with something like this, or AbbaGav. Remember old AbbaGav? He used to make up all sorts of lists.

I don't know about you, but every time I look at this picture I imagine the old black shoe polish on the binoculars joke. I'd love to see this in some series as the "before" picture.

Liveblogging Dinner With The Shmata Queen Part II

Part one can be found here.


SQ: Ah, the laptop at the table joins us again. Please don't make me look foolish.
Me: I would never do that to you, especially when you are so much better at it than I am.

SQ: Must you always play these silly games.
Me: Is that a question or a statement.

SQ: What do you think?
Me: I think, therefore I am.

SQ: Sometimes you are a real pain in the ass.
Me: Only sometimes. Damn, I am losing my touch. Be happy you are out of reach.

SQ: Out of what?
Me: Socks. Out of socks. I said out of socks.

SQ: No you didn't. What did you really say?
Me: I said that you make my heart skip a beat and my knees go weak, such a fair maiden.

SQ: I know that is not what you said, but I'll take it.
Me: I know. All you do is take, take, take, take. When are you going to to give, give, give.

SQ: You are such a man.
Me: That's why I wear the pants, not to mention that these wouldn't look that good on you.

SQ: Hey, that is not nice.
Me: What is not nice.

SQ: You know what is not nice. Stop typing, I don't want this in there.
Me: I don't want this in there. Say, this is a family blog. Don't go putting smut into my blog. You have your own. Oh, I am sorry, you have the one you abandoned.

SQ: Miriam is going to move in with him.
Me: Are we back on this again.

SQ: Yes. She is my sister and I love her.
Me: So do I, more than you know. Mua haha hah hah.

SQ: Go ahead and twist my words. That is not nice.
Me: Neither is cleveland but that didn't stop you from living there.

SQ: I am getting tired of old jokes
Me: Ok, here is new one. LeBron James is going to win a championship for the cavs. Excuse me while I pause to wipe up the Coke coming out of my nose.

SQ: Can we have a serious conversation.
Me: Hmm... There you go again. Is that a question or a statement.

Folks, I'd write more but as you can see these discussions are really kind of tough. I am exhausted just thinking about this. Excuse me while I go search for some armor. Something tells me that I just might need it. ;)

The Purpose of Beer

Reasons Why I Am Not A Pulpit Rabbi

There are many many reasons why I am not a pulpit rabbi. One of the biggest is that I am not a rabbi. I received a different sort of smicha, but we'll save that post for a later date. I'd ask you to forgive me for the flippant tone, but this is my blog and I can do what I want. Sorry, been spending copious amounts of time with a toddler.

This past weekend I was privileged to spend some time at a place that I consider to be holy ground. There weren't any burning bushes, no voices instructing me to take my shoes off, but I have seen the area go up in flames.

It is a place that has been the setting for many of the life lessons that have helped to shape who I am today. Any time I walk those hills I hear the echoes of the past. It is somewhere that I go when I am happy and when I am sad. I can beneath a star filled sky and contemplate life. I wish that somehow I could bring the feeling that I get into this blog because it would be nice to be able to share that.

Every so often the idea of the rabbinate comes up. It attracts and repulses me all at the same time. I don't have as strong a background in classic Jewish education as I would like. Haven't had all that much time learning Gemara as a I might like. I haven't been fortunate enough to spend a year learning in Israel.

But that is not to say that I don't learn, that I haven't any education, or that I don't have any sort of background at all. I do.

Part of my challenge is trying to figure out where I am at. From a religious perspective I am in an in between time. There are a lot of things that I cannot accept. I can't buy some of the precepts. That is not to say that I haven't in the past or that I won't find them again in the future, but I am not there now.

I don't believe that a pulpit rabbi never questions his faith. I don't believe that you can be a good rabbi without challenging yourself. I don't believe that you can lead or teach without taking the time to look inside. How do you try and explain to others something that you have never questioned nor experienced yourself.

More than anything, the real reason I don't want to be a pulpit rabbi is that I don't want to deal with the politics. I have worked in more than one shul. I have always been involved and continue to be, but that doesn't mean that I want my livelihood tied into that.

I don't want to have to worry about whether my sermon is considered too boring, or my ties too ugly. I don't want to have conversations with the synagogue president about why the kiddish is this or that. I don't think that I can go officiate at a million funerals of people I don't know.

I am not really sure where this is going or what I am thinking about, so I think that I'll just end this here.

Liveblogging Dinner WIth The Shmata Queen

Ever wonder what dinner with the Shmata Queen is like?

SQ: Miriam and Marc make me crazy.
Me: Actually you're craziness comes from the water in cleveland.

SQ: Honey, they have so many things that need to be taken care of. What is she thinking.
Me: Dear, the operative word in that last sentence is "they." As THEY need to take care of this.

SQ: I can't just stand by and watch.
Me: I know.

SQ: Hey, that wasn't nice.
Me: Ask me what I think about those jeans. (add evil laugh)

SQ: This is serious.
Me: What is? The jeans, life, Ezzie's belief that the cavs can win. What is serious?

SQ: Marc and Miriam.
Me: They should elope. Save the cash, run to Vegas and be done with it. It is very romantic.

SQ: Thus spaketh the King of Romance as he typed away at the keyboard.
Me: You want romance. Buy Harlequin.

SQ: I am making a list of things to pick up at Costco.
Me: Watch out for Angry Alabamans.

SQ: Must you always bring up these stories.
Me: As long as the burning river shall last so shall these stories.

SQ: Editor's note. This is a family blog so I can't repeat the words that were used.
Me: Tell you what, why not try updating your blog.

SQ: I want to, but there is so much going on.
Me: Ok, why not let me do it.

Exciting stuff, isn't it. Later on I'll have to share some more dialogue including exciting discussions about caviar and ketchup, tired '70s music and the cop in the Target parking lot. In the meantime I have to go hide. ;)

Sherman On War

"Every attempt to make war easy and safe will result in humiliation and disaster."
General William Tecumseh Sherman

I Am Packing Challenged

I Am Packing Challenged. Why is it that I always under or over pack. Why can't I find that happy medium that allows me to pack the perfect amount of clothes.

It doesn't matter whether I am going away for a weekend or a month. It is always the same, too much or too little.

Arghh!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling My Age

I watched Don Nelson take revenge on Mark Cuban. If you are not a fan of the NBA than you don't know that when the Golden State Warriors beat the Dallas Mavericks they completed one of the biggest upsets in NBA history. I

I'll leave my comments about Mark Cuban for a different time. I'll withhold my comments about the game too. Instead let me share something that I am sort of struggling with.

I have a birthday coming up. The birthday itself doesn't faze me at all. What does is looking at the guys who played last night and the realization that in pro sports terms I am ancient. I am almost twice as old as some of the rookies and I have some years on most of the vets.

I came of age with Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Byron, Bird, Barkley, Stockton, Malone, Olajuwon and of course Jordan to name a few. They are all retired now and in some cases for decades.

I used to play pickup games a solid four or five days a week. I can't do that anymore, at least not at the level I used to play at. My body can't take the pounding. If I try to my knees and back ache. I have lost a day. I can go three consecutive days of playing hard and then I need a day off.

I try to maintain perspective. It is not a matter of not being able to play. I can do that. It is hard to accept that my body won't give me everything it used to. I used to be able to just walk on the court and go. I can't quite do that anymore. It takes a few minutes to warm up. Until I start to break a sweat it feels like I am moving in molasses.

Last night my son asked me when he can start playing with the boys and I. I smiled and told him it would be a few years. At 6.5 he is not nearly big enough to play in these games. If his growth matches my own it will be around nine or ten years. By the time he is 18 he'll be broad and strong enough to hold his own with his peers and men ten years older.

So what are we saying, that it is going to take another 12 years for him to really get out there. I'll be 50. How much am I going to have left in the tank. I know that by then I won't be able to play the same game I do now. I'll do my best to adapt, but...

What I am really saying is that my male ego is bruised by this thought. I want my son to see me play and to play with me in my prime, but that is just not going to happen. I know that age is a state of mind and that concerns about playing basketball should be the worst problems I have, but I won't lie and say that sometimes it doesn't bother me.

And I won't say that I am not bothered by the new aches and pains that see to accompany waking up in the morning. Or that it isn't irritating to me to accept that even though I feel like I am 25 the reality is otherwise.

I am going to fight the clock. I don't care about the new lines in my face or that my hair isn't quite as thick as it used to be. What I do care about is trying to find ways to improve my physical condition so that I can do what I want for the next 100 years.

You'll have to excuse me now. It is time to take my Geritol.

New Jersey- The Jughandle State

If you don't know what a jughandle is consider yourself lucky. I have been to about 38 of the 50 states and New Jersey is the only one that seems to be afflicted with this foolish traffic hazard.

The Sex Offender and The Synagogue

Kol Ra'ash Gadol has a post that I found quite interesting. What do you think?

Lost

Am I the only one trying to figure out where they are going with this.

Greatest Dodger Moment

This is easily the greatest moment in Dodger history that I can remember watching live.

What Every Man Needs To Know About a Harem

You can find the primer here. Something tells me that the Shmata Queen has plenty to say about this. Go give her some blog love and say hello from me.

Cluster Ballooning

Something tells me that this sport is begging for serious trouble.

Dieting By Toilet

What's the difference between this diet and a bad case of dysentery. Feh.

Devotees of the diet eat no solid food but drink up to 10 daily glasses of the lemon juice cocktail and round it off with saltwater in the morning and laxative tea at night. They are supposed to stay on the cleanse for at least 10 days, then ease back into normal eating with orange juice and vegetable soup.

The main drawback: You never want to be too far from a toilet. The cleanse produces very liquid and copious bowel movements.

For the full story click here.

Orthodox Jewry- A Misguided Position About Other Denominations

On another blog I stumbled across this comment:

The Jewish Theological Seminary is a center of Conservative Judaism. Conservative Judaism, like Reform Judaism, is not considered a valid form of Judaism by Orthodox Jews,

When I was younger I found such comments to be offensive. It was disturbing to think that Jews could say this about other Jews. I was very surprised by it. Gradually comments like this stopped bothering me. I don't have to cater to other peoples narishkeit. People can say whatever they want but it doesn't mean that it is true.

It has helped that over time I have been involved in so many different Jewish organizations that were tied into various denominations. Add in Orthodox relatives and many friends that are BT and you have a recipe for a certain amount of insight.

In particular it was obvious that Orthodox Judaism is not monolithic in its approach. Sure, there are certain things that everyone agrees about, but the reality is that there is a huge subset. In truth there always has been. How many times have we heard about the fights between the mitnagdim and the Chassidim.

Are you part of Beit Hillel or Beit Shammai. Are you a Breslover or a Lubavitcher. Ashkenazic and Sefardi Minhagim sometimes conflict. The jackasses in the NK consider themselves to be the true defenders of the faith but most of my Orthodox friends and family look with scorn upon them.

What comes to mind is a comment from Bayonim. It is an older blog that hasn't been updated in some time.

Oddly, as the night progressed, though, I found myself thinking not of tweenagers, but of single Jewish woman, woman in their thirties, woman who are stilled called “girls” by clueless matrons, woman who haven’t yet found their man, or their place yet on the wide, wide, spectrum that is the Orthodox Jewish community. At some point we all choose our own spot on that spectrum, and implicitly we announce that all the other spots – the Hasidic spot, the modern spot, or whatever – we announce that those other spots aren’t for us, or for our children.

I was married before I thought about these things. I didn't understand the deep deivisions in Orthodoxy, and it never occured to me that I might one day live, and also thrive, in a neighborhood so alien to my upbringing. Now, at thirty-two, my bed is made so to speak. I have the house, I have the kids, I have the community, and for better or for worse, I have my spot on the spectrum.

Just one more blogger who makes the point that there is no one way. I don't care which denomination you look at, we all have evolutions of thought and policy. Sure some of the core elements stay the same, but change does come.

To be clear, this is not being written as some sort of academic essay. You aren't going to find me citing this Gemara and that. I won't speak about what the Rambam had to say or Rashi's position on xyz. It is not necessary.

The people that hate Jews don't distinguish between those of us walking around with peyot and those who do not. They don't care whether you are shomer negiah or shomer shabbos . A Torah true Jew is the same as the guy that fell off the derech. In their eyes one Yid is the same as another.

The real point of this post is that we can try and find a way to minimize the acrimony and get along better. More achdut and less divisiveness.

I have always enjoyed this story about The Besht.

It is told of the Besht that one Yom Kippur a poor Jewish boy, an illiterate shepherd, entered the synagogue where he was praying. The boy was deeply moved by the service, but frustrated that he could not read the prayers. He started to whistle, the one thing he knew he could do beautifully; he wanted to offer his whistling as a gift to God. The congregation was horrified at the desecration of their service. Some people yelled at the boy, and others wanted to throw him out. The Ba'al Shem Tov immediately stopped them. "Until now," he said, "I could feel our prayers being blocked as they tried to reach the heavenly court. This young shepherd's whistling was so pure, however, that it broke through the blockage and brought all of our prayers straight up to God."

Honey, This Meal Tastes Likes Crap

One more reason to be good to the person cooking your meals.

A disgruntled wife has admitted feeding her estranged husband a curry containing dog excrement after their relationship broke down.

The Post I Started To Write

I grew frustrated with the post below. It didn't quite flow the way I wanted it to so I decided to ice it for a while.

Individualism is a trait that is prized by many people. It is something that we teach our children. Here in the U.S. it is quite common to hear people use phrases like think outside of the box or color outside of the lines. If someone calls you a sheep it is not a compliment. This is a very simple explanation for why we see so many examples of people trying to demonstrate their independence by how they dress, adorn their bodies etc.

Yet humans are communal creatures. Most of us want to be a part of a group. Most of us want to be accepted in a community of peers and others who think like we do. Trying to demonstrate/maintain that independent think outside of the box streak while still being a part of the gang is similar to walking barefoot on hot coals. If you lose your focus you will fill the heat.

I suppose that you could say that this begs the question of what is most important, independence or being a member of the community.

I Hate Doing Dishes

For those of you who like to keep track of the mundane and trivial, I hate doing dishes. I could give you the long sob story about why, but it is far too dull. Suffice it to say that if I never did dishes again I wouldn't notice.

Kermit Does Pulp Fiction

Define Yourself- I Am More Jewish Than You

I have a couple ideas for posts percolating around my skull. They are only partially formed so I am not going to give them the chance to see the light of day just yet. But I'll provide sort of a short preview.

Amishav's post here provides some of the impetus for one of them. It ties into a post I wrote a couple of years ago called Orthodox Versus Jewry- Or My Blood is More Jewish.

What I want to do is spend a little more time thinking about this and then I'll put together a new post about it. The purpose of taking more time is twofold.

1) I want to think about this a little bit more and see if I can provide more clarity for myself. I want to decide if I still feel the same way or if my views have changed.

2) I don't have enough time to do a proper job of writing this post.

More later.