I have a pseudo-cold. That means that I am kind of sniffly, throat is scratchy and I have more than an occasional sneeze but nothing consistent. I am kind of tired, but not real tired.
In short, I don't feel up to snuff but am not feeling badly enough to warrant staying home and even if I did feel worse I am not sure that I would have stayed home. I need to pump out some sales and a salesman who is not in the field on the phone or working the computer is not making any money.
And crazy fool that I am, I like to eat, not to mention I feel good when I am able to earn enough to provide for my family. It is days like this that I call my father and yell at him. Why couldn't I have been born into a rich family. Dad doesn't help the situation either, all he does is say talk to your grandfather about it.
I have tried that and would you believe that he blames his father. It has been thirty years since he last walked the Earth as a corporeal being, so short of a seance I don't expect any answers. And even if he was here I bet that he'd pass the buck or blame the Cossacks. Not that I can fault him for blaming the Cossacks, they did have a negative impact on things. If I had my way there'd be a Cossack kneeling before me on a hassock awaiting my swift kick to their ass.
And in other news I want to know why this blog keeps showing up in my stats. What the hell do I want with a mail order bride. My hands are full as it is right now and one more thing that I don't need is an addition to the 17 other mail order brides I have purchased in the past. Polygamy is bigamy, but that doesn't mean that I have to add to it. Do you have any idea how much work it takes to keep 17 wives happy.
There is not enough Viagra nor shoes in the world to keep them happy. As it is I just throw a 4 pound box of Godiva Chocolate into their suite and run like hell. I'd hire a Royal Eunuch but I can't get down to San Diego for a while.
I am so freaking out of it that I am not even making sense to myself anymore and that is problematic.
On the topic of sick and twisted I read this aritcle and shook my head. No, it is not about Michael Jackson. It is about a man who had sex with dogs. It just blows my mind. Within the last three months I have read about men who have had sex with dogs, sheep and a goat, twice.
One of the men complained that his wife wasn't taking care of his needs and that he didn't want to "cheat."
I have got news for anyone who is concerned about this. I would sooner appear on the Dr. Phil show to discuss why I like to run naked through the woods while covered in green jello than ever do it with an animal.
I am a man with a very strong libido, but there has never ever been a time where I looked at an animal and thought to myself, "I have got to get a piece of goat ass today. If I don't bang a sheep than I cannot be happy."
What the hell is wrong with you people. What! I just don't get it.
I went to college with a guy who had a fetish for women who had had their legs amputated. I had thought that he was among the sickest people that I knew, but the animal lovers take this to a new level that just makes me want to scream. Bleah!
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
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